UPJOKE

Absolute Worst Jokes

Just found the absolute worst page in the dictionary

What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

What's literally the absolute worst thing in the whole world?

Exaggeration.

A nosy identity thief is the absolute worst

He has that annoying habit of making other peoples lifes his own

My sewing instructor just told me that I am the absolute worst student she has ever had...

Oooops! Wrong thread...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"What'd he say???"

An older gentleman pulled into a country gas station while on a road trip with his wife. He got out and proceeded to fill the car with gasoline.

A local was filling up at the adjoining pump. "Nice day today."

"Yes it is," replied the old timer.

His wife, sitting in the passe...

***2020 CANCELLED***

After careful consideration, we have decided that it is no longer in the best interests of everyone involved to proceed with 2020.

While we recognize that a lot of hard work has gone into preparing for 2020, if we're honest it has just turned into a bit of a sh*tshow and we feel it best just ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a cold and snowy day Jim walks into work with a cast on his right arm...

"Why, Jim! Are you ok? How did you break your arm?" asks Steve.

"Well Steve, I slipped on some ice and fell down my front porch. As for how I'm doing? It doesn't hurt that much, but its made things really difficult." says Jim.

"Really? How so?"

"First off, I can't drive my stick...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man lives in a retirement home

Unfortunately, he often would feel lonely, so he decided to enter into a casual relationship with a lady friend who lived a few rooms over. Seeing as how they were both super old, neither had much of a sex drive, nor the physical prowess required to engage in the act of love-making. Instead, some ni...

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