UPJOKE

3 Foot Jokes

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3 Foot Condom

A Dwarf goes into a chemist and asks if the 3 foot display condom was for sale?

The owners says "Yes but its not cheap, i'd want ÂŁ500 for it."

"I'll take it" says the dwarf.

After paying for it the dwarf pulls it over head and down to his shoes and asks the shop owner what he th...

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I bought a 3 foot long skeleton arm for my Halloween decoration today.

The store assistant asked me, 'Are you going to put it up yourself?'

'No, you sick fuck, it's going in my living room,' I replied.

A statistician drowned in a pool that was 3 foot deep

on average.

What do you call a 3 foot tall alcoholic?

Just a little drunk.

My friend keeps boasting that he's got a 3 foot tall pack of cards

Big deal...

I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings

Turns out he was the metre man

A priest and a nun…

A priest and a nun were out playing golf one day. They get to about hole 5 when the priest has a 10 ft putt for par. He lines up his putt but misses and yells out “Damnit! I missed!” The nun looks flabbergasted and says “Father, you know you shouldn’t be using foul language like that!” The priest sa...

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In a far away land over the seas, there lives a tribe of 2 foot tall pygmies who live in 3 foot tall grass...

... called the Fug-ow-ees. They were named by an explorer who stumbled upon them one day in his travels and heard them say something along the lines of "we're the Fug-ow-ee."

Blonde Inventor.

Blonde:1: I have invented a parachute that gets you down faster and it opens 3 foot from the ground.

Blond:2: But what happens if it doesn't open?

Blonde:1: Doh, anyone can jump 3 feet.

The world's crossword champion was buried today.

8 foot down and 3 foot across.

A man was stranded on an island and was visited by a genie who gave him one wish.

3 weeks later rescuers found a corpse with a 3 foot dong.

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The 7 Dwarfs on vacation



While on vacation, the Seven Dwarfs visit the local convent to buy some souvenirs.

They meet up with the Mother Superior and Dopey stops to talk to her.

“Excuse me, your holy one but do you have any short nuns here?”

Mother Superior is quite puzzled by the ques...

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A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "come in! We have a magic ashtray that will grant one wish if you buy a pint"

He walks in to a swanky piano lounge which, interestingly, had a dwarf playing the piano.

He buys a pint and the bartender tells him to hold the ashtray and make his wish.

He squints and makes his wish. Suddenly a million ducks start swarming out from behind the bar and begin to cause ...

A guy just knocked on my door.

I opened it and he was about 3 foot 3 inches tall.

I said, “Who are you?”

He replied, “I’m the meter man.”

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Drunk driver and penguins

So a drunk driver is flying down the highway and a cop pulls him over. Before the cop can even tell the man anything, the drunk slurs to the officer,

"Officer you gotta help me! Are there 3 foot penguins?"

Shocked but obviously amused by the drunk he plays along.

"Yeah they get...

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A joke about golf and a priest (A bit long)

So a priest is playing golf with a professional golfer and they are having a pretty even match. They are up to the 6th hole with the scores level and all the golfer has to do is get a 4 foot putt. He hits the ball but it misses. The frustrated golfer shouts
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I MISSED THE ...

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