Clothing Jokes

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

wanting to impress her boyfriend, and asks "I want to see the large petite clothes."

Puzzled, the sales assistant responds, "Mam, I don't think we have anything to fit..."

"Found it!" says the woman, and goes to the petite section.

After a few minutes of the woman not fi... read more

It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing.

Under Armoire

Woolf

It ended in a tie.

He found his way to the menswear department where a sales clerk offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the sales clerk.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Wel... read more

Windbreaker

Denim denim denim

I had No Time To Dye.

I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms

(Yes, this is actually happening)

A lawsuit.

Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to throw the clothes in the garbage can."

Wife: "Don't be selfish! There are so many poor people who have no clothes and are starving."

Husband: " Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving..."

It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

"I know, but ... read more

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pro... read more

Whose sari now?

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel

Land's End

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

I went in for my prostate exam last week. The doctor told me to take off my pants. I asked him where I should put them. “Right there next to mine” was not the answer I wanted to hear.

The church only wishes they could burn things until they are straight.

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin... read more

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,... read more

Casual T's.

It'll be called Nana Republic

Ice wear.

Fruit of the womb!

The man goes and sits outside and has a small cry when a voice behind him says "whats wrong"?. When he explains what has happened the voice replies don't worry my son my name is god and I have been trying to get into that place for years

Such losses. The police are notifying the next of kilt.

It elevates the small ones, it supports the big ones and it keeps the masses together.

I wonder why they don't make pants

No one seemed to notice.

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ... read more

Russian Ties

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.

“In front of you”?”, he asks, shyly.

The nurse says, “Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.”

The patient said, “Not one like mine. You would die laughing at my naked bo... read more

The actor who played Captain Kirk tried to launch his own brand of trousers but they didn't sell very well.

For some reason, people just didn't want to buy Shatner Pants.

He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the o... read more

...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.

Employee: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small

Employee: You didn't even try it on

Psychic: I'm a medium

The jumper.

Ica clothing

Now I have post-nasal drip

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t... read more

But I didn't see anything that I liked.

you use other people's material to make yourself look good

I SWEAR!!

I walked up to cashier and put down a few coppers.

The cashier looked at the money and said, "Sir... this isn't enough. I'll need another £1,299.97."

"What do you mean?" I asked angrily. "The assistant said it's a 3p suit."

It's called Tailor Swift.

It was a tie.

The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see you're nuts."

A SCARF!

The least dangerous are sweater vests. They’re completely armless

....and waits two minutes for an associate to help her. No one does and the duck gets progressively more upset. And quacks up a storm.

Another shopper passes by, sees the uncovered bill and mumbles “Karen is mighty fowl.”

Everything she sold was a medium.

But I don’t see the appeal

I said: "Awe, are you an orphan"?

He said: "Yes, what gave me away?"

To which I replied: "Your parents."

I still don’t understand it, but I appreciate his effort at being transparent.

fiber optics

They're the vest

The store owner goes looking for it for several minutes but finally comes back to the man and says :
"Sorry, but I just couldn't find them"
The man then leaves the store satisfied.

I mean, I appreciate a good Undertale cosplay but I feel misled.

A card-again

A lawsuit

Apparently, Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.

I'm going to call it Sari/Not-Sari.

There were just a few Casual Tees.

He's a jeanius

Because it's made of hide

Thankfully they have not discovered any casual Ts.

Nothing. Buck naked.

And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoy... read more

I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.

*No ice.*

The expert asks the assistant "Do you have the latest edition of 'Wet Garments' Acoustics'? I'm sure your store just released it yesterday."

"Of course," the assistant replies. "Would you like to listen to it before you buy it?"

"Why, thank you," says the expert, and puts on a pair of... read more

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

You seamstressed.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

There were no casual tees.

.....is also the first to feel shy

It's bad for your joints.

there were reports of casual-tees.

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

They find it easier to balance attire

It's called "Gucci Gucci Goo"

Transaction