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Boxing Jokes

Why do Pirates always win boxing matches?

They have a killer hook.

During my boxing career, I was the 2nd best boxer in my country.

I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.

My Ex reminds me of a boxing ring.

It’s not unusual to find three men inside her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is doing sexual favors for drugs like a boxing match?

They're both blow for blow

I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing.

He said, “Knock yourself out!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some say Boxing and Sex are the best Cardio

I can't pick so I just do both at the same time

Why is fisherman bad at boxing?

Cause he only throws hooks

How is Korean boxing like baseball?

They always knock out one of the Parks.

I'm addicted to Boxing Day sandwiches.

I'll have to go cold turkey.

I was thinking about spending $100 to watch the boxing match tonight...

But why would I spend money to see Mayweather when I can just look outside?

What do you call the queue to a boxing match?

The punchline

What does a boxing comedian need?

A good punchline.

Why is it called "Boxing"?

Because "Fisting" was already taken.

My friend was wondering if he should explore his kinks about masochism and boxing

I said knock yourself out.

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television.

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

What's the difference between pay-per-view boxing and charismatic religious broadcasts?

When a boxer knocks someone out it's for real.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sal the boxing promoter gets a call Saturday morning of fight night

“Hey boss, it’s Joe at the gym. Big Frank’s had an accident and broke his thumb. He can’t fight for a month”
Sal goes into a melt down. Big Frank was his heavyweight prospect and the headline of that nights card in the Big Apple. Faced with refunding the tickets he gets on the phone to all the ot...

A Journalist Visits a Boxing Gym...

A reporter for a well known New York newspaper was visiting a boxing gym, to investigate the importance of boxing to New York's culture. This gym had a reputation for producing some of the toughest boxers in today's game, but no one knew how. To get the most authentic story possible, he signed himse...

Your dad does the vacuuming in boxing gloves

Calls himself Dyson Fury

I'm gonna watch 2 guys duke it out in the Indian Boxing Championships this weekend.

Now that is a pun jab I would like to see.

I don't tell jokes about boxing

I can't come up with a punchline

A tough guy walks into a bar, looking for trouble. Orders a boiler maker.

He downs the shot, turns to the guy on his right and punches him in the face.
“That's a right hook from American boxing.”

He drinks down the beer, turns to the guy on his left and kicks him in the belly. "That's a crane kick from Chinese Kung-fu."

He turns to see if anyone in the ba...

Could you imagine taking a punch from someone that played Muhammad Ali, a boxing legend, in a movie??

Chris got lucky it was just a slap! Good thing Will's fist was as open as his marriage.

Baking and boxing are very similar

They both require you to beat until thick

A boxing match is about to start..

A boxing match is about to start.

An ex-criminal steps on the scale and weighs in at 90kg.

Next up.. a professional athlete weighing in at 85kg.

Gotta weigh the pros and cons

Edit but not actually an edit : it's dumb, I'm aware

Did you hear about the pirate that one the boxing championship?

He took down all his challengers with one right hook

Mr. T was asked for his comments before his celebrity boxing match with Dave Grohl, he responded with

"I pity the Foo"

Box

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked. “I’m a Paralympian,” he replied. “Boxing?” “No, … hurdles.”

“A Beginner’s Guide to Boxing”

- By Bob Andweave

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Hellen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson, Hellen Keller never heard the bell

Life is like boxing.

Just when I think I understand it...BAM, I get punched in the face.

How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest.

Alien vs predator

My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our buddy Ty is now the state boxing champion.

People from China refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

Girls must love beat boxing

Since it's all about boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dating is often like boxing...

You have to go for your weight class.

People don't typically wear glasses while boxing....

It's more of a contacts sport

I'm one of the few people willing to step into a boxing ring with Mike Tyson

Because I'm an organ donor, it'd be a charity event.

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