When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
When your a spoiled brat and your dad is a trusts lawyer
Kid starts throwing a tantrum in a department store:
Kid: If you don’t buy this for me for Christmas I’ll kill myself!”
Dad: “Well then it’s a good thing I took out that life insurance policy on you”
Kid: “Ughhh! I hate you!”
Dad: “I love you too”
Kid: “Didn’t you ...
If your mom is 17 and your dad is 18, what does that make you?
An accident.
You know your dad is drunk when
He stops turning the lights off in empty rooms
He leaves the front door unlocked past 4pm
The lines where he's mown the lawn look like a bowl of noodles
When his favorite hat falls and touches the ground, he acts like it was no big deal
When you as...
Doctor: your dad is not with us anymore
Me: damn
Doctor: He’s at a different hospital
Me: oh ok
Doctor: dead
Me: damn
Doctor: I mean my phone. I have to go charge it.
Me: Oh. I thought you meant-
Doctor: Well yeah, that too. He kicked the bucket.
Me: Really?
Doctor: He ...
Doctor: Your dad is not with us anymore.
Me: Oh No. Oh My God.
Doctor: He is at a different hospital.
Me: Oh, Thank God.
Doctor: But he is dead though.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How do you know if your dad is gay?
Because his dick tastes like shit.
What do you get when your dad is an abusive alcoholic?
Laid.
If your dad is a chemist, never ask him to make you a Pb&j sandwich.
Pretty sure I have lead poisoning now.
You know how when you're a kid you think your dad is Superman..
Then you grow up and realize that he's just a drunk with a cape.
So this guy lost his right foot in an accident
Lucky for him, he got a great prosthetic, so nobody knew he's wearing a prosthetic foot.
Some years later he met a girl, but didn't tell her about his 'disability'. They got married and on wedding night, he took off his prosthetic foot to show his new bride.
Horrified, she straight cal...
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