A man with 12 kids was trying to rent a house. However, no landowner would allow him to rent their house due to the number of children he had. Frustrated, the man told his wife to visit her father's tombstone and bring all but their youngest child with her.

He then visited a property and told the landowner that he would like to rent the place.

"Is this your only child?" asked the landowner.

"No, I have 12 children" replied the man.

"Then where are the other 11 kids?"

"In the cemetery with my wife," he calmly replied.

Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?

Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.

A man and his family walk into a bar. Inside of the bar, the man's youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating "World's longest memory".

The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.

The child asks, "What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?"

The Native American states, "eggs."

The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.

Years lat...

How was I born?

One day, three kids went to their mom. The oldest asked, "Mom how was I named?" The mom said, "Well, when we were walking out of the hospital, a rose fell on your head, so we named you rose." The middle child asked, "Mom, how was I named?" The mom said, "When we were walking out of the hospital a li...

A child walks up to their parents and asks

A child walks up to their parents and asks “hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?”

The parents smile and reply, “When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead”. The child satisfied with the answer walked away.

The younger sibling came up and a...

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Three boys plan to swear in front of their mom.

After dinner, the mother asks her sons what they want for dessert. The first and eldest son says "I want some goddamn ice cream!" The mother spanks the boy and sends him to his room with no dessert. She then asks the second boy what he wants for dessert, and he tells her "I want some goddamn ice cr...

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A man commisions his three kids to each sell a duck

The eldest goes out, and returns having sold the duck for 5 dollars.
The middle child goes out, and returns a tad more successful having sold the duck for 10 dollars.
The youngest child goes out, and while at the market, gets propositioned by a lady of the night. He explains he has no money...

The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"

"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."

Satisfied, the child goes away.

Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"

"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when...

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The doctor asks, "What's the problem?" The moth replies, "Doc, let me tell you. I hate my job. Every single day I have to go & I hate my boss and I hate my job. I wake up every day next to a woman that I once loved, but I stopped loving her long a...

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A couple have four children.

The first three have ginger hair and green eyes, while the youngest has brown hair and eyes. On his death bed, the husband says to his wife, “Be honest with me: is our youngest child truly mine?” His wife looks him in the eye and says a firm “Yes.” The man breathes a sigh of relief and passes away. ...

Dad, where did my name come from?

One day a man was sitting on the porch, reading a book while keeping an eye on his 3 kids who were playing in the yard. The eldest, Rose, comes up to him and says "Dad, I was wondering, why did you name me Rose?"

"Well you'd never believe it, but when you were born a rose petal fell from a bo...

A family moves into their new house.

Grandma comes for a visit and asks the youngest child, a five-year-old, how he likes the new place.
“It’s terrific,” he says. “I have my own room, my brother has his own room, and my sister has her own room. But poor mom is still sleeping with dad.”

Cannibals in the night

A cannibal wakes up in the night and says to his cannibal wife "I'm starving and we ate the last missionary two days ago." His wife responds "We won't be sent a new missionary for a few days, we've got 3 children, why not have one as a snack?" He thinks it's a great idea, so he eats his youngest chi...

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Where does my name come from?

A woman was making dinner for her family when her oldest child walked in and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Feather?" "Well," said the mom, "When your father and I carried you out the hospital doors, a feather fell out of the sky and landed on your little head, and it was the most beautiful thing ...

How to name your children

One day mum was sitting in the kitchen reading on hear iPad when her eldest child came in and stood next to her. With a quizzical look on her face she asked "Mum, why am I called 'Feather'?"
"Because a feather fell on your head when you were born, my darling", mom replied.
After having heard ...

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