Young Kid Jokes

Kids these days have such great manners

A police constable stops him and asks: "Why did you park your bike here? You don't know about this road? MPs, Lords, and Civil Servants pass by here daily!"


The kid replied, smiling: "No worries, I've locked my bike."

It’s dark and cold and the rain is coming down in buckets. He sees a house with the lights on and runs up the driveway and knocks on the door. Half a minute later the owner opens the door and the young fellow informs him who he is.

“Well don’t stand out there in the rain. Come on in and dry ... read more

The driver says "get in the car".

The kid says "No way!" and keeps walking.

The driver says "Get in the car and I'll give you a candy bar!"

The kid says "No way. A candy bar won't do it."

The driver says "Get in the car and I'll give you a candy bar and twenty bucks!"
... read more

“Let’s make sure his hard work and sacrifice are not wasted....”

Jeff Bezos orders his subordinates

“Find someone who can finish the remaining 2 hours of his shift”

He is forced to write “I will not misbehave in school” 1000 times. This makes his hand very sore. When he is picked up, he complains “ my hand is sore”. His 14 year old brother reply’s “ yeah, well, it will be even more sore when you’re a teenager”.

A young kid asked his parents one how he was made.

The parents ,not wanting to scar him, replied that he was delivered by a stork

Later on in his room the child started on his paper and it read

“Today I learned that I am the only person in the entire world not born regularly”

He simply had to say to anyone close to him:

“I know everything.”

And that will reward him with money!

The kid first went to his father, he approach him and said “Dad, I know everything.” His dad’s eyes widened and quickly gave him 100$ and said “Shh. Don’t tell anyone please.”.... read more

He simply refused to apply himself. The parents tried everything to no avail. Finally, in desperation, they put him into a private Catholic school. When they got his first report card they were delighted to see he got an A in math. They asked him what had finally motivated him. He said "When I ... read more

Lacey worked really hard and started to gain some attention until a tragic accident destroyed her left knee. She lost her job at the dance company and thus her insurance, leaving her with a shattered knee and broken dreams.

Then she saw a commercial for these brand new knee replacements, Mah... read more

“None!” shouts a boy across the classroom.

“Come here” says the teacher while the kid is approaching her through the weird looks of their classmates. The teacher calmly repeats the question again this time holding three fingers up for the sitting birds and removing one for the hunter’s victim... read more

He would reflect for a moment, analyze the distance between him and the trash can and make the shot — flawless execution.
He repeated that another three or four times before he got himself even more distance from his target, overflowing with confidence the kid jumped and shot the trashbag which m... read more

..."of course I'll do some."

A young kid was eating candy and older guy says , you shouldn't be eating candy, kid says my grandpa lived to be 105 years old.... guy says did he eat candy every day ... kid says no ..... he minded his own f'n business.

Young kids use a dating app on their phone.

Older kids use a dating website on their computers.

Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates.

Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events.

Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.

Part of me feels really bad about this. I mean he's only a kid. He's really too young to understand what I did to him. But do it to him I did. I 121G’d the lad.

I went into an O’Reilly’s store last week to pick up some wiper blades. I had this young kid helping me. He made a comment about how... read more

They had fished in this lake for decades, and they knew there were no more fish in the lake, but they went because they enjoyed going and getting away from their wives. After a while, a young kid came along and cut a hole in the ice under a tree, close to the shore. Sven and Oli looked at each other... read more

An old farmer was continuously digging up and replanting a fence post out by the road. He does this for several days until a young kid from next door comes over and asks him why he continues planting the same post over and over. The farmer looks at the kid then points to the sign above the entry t... read more