UPJOKE

You Swallow Jokes

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Why say you swallow cum?

When you can say you sucseed

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TIL if you swallow a bullet it'll shoot out from another hole. It actually feels pretty good. Don't believe me? Try it and see...

You'll cum a round.

Every year you swallow ten beetles in your sleep!

That's what my gastroentomologist told me.

Doctor : Your X-rays show you swallowed a light bulb.

Me: I guess you could say that I'm..

Doctor: please don't do...

Me: Lit AF

Doctor: get out!

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I got thrown out of the pharmacy today when all I did was ask the worker, "Do you swallow it or take it up the ass?"

How the fuck am I supposed to know what to do, I've never used a suppository before?!

A cannibal was in the examination room, waiting for the results of his x-ray.

When the images were ready, a doctor entered the room and flipped the switch on the light box. He took one look and said, "I think you swallowed a foreign object."

The cannibal did not like the sounds of that. In fact, he was insulted. He stood up and started walking toward the door. When he ...

2 year old son spits on the floor.

Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you swallow it.
Husband raises eyebrows.
Wife: You shut up!

How can you tell if he has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow.

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A man went to the doctor...

"Doc, when I pee, it flies in all four directions of the compass."

"You swallowed a button! Next."

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Lady: How many calories are there is Semen?

Doctor: Trust me.

If you swallow he won't give a fuck how fat you are.

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Two whales were swimming through ocean when... NSFW

They spotted a whaling vessel overhead. The young whale turns to the old whale and says, "Hey, Mom! Thats the boat that killed father. Lets get it!" The mother turns to her daughter, nodding in agreement, and says, "Heres what we will do: I will swim directly under the boat and blow bubbles until th...

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