UPJOKE

You Know What They Say Jokes

You know what they say

'Don't let an extra chromosome get you Down'

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You know what they say about having sex while camping?

It's fucking in tents.

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You know what they say, once you've seen one pair of boobs...

You want to see them all

You know what they say about getting cheap circumcisions.

It'll be a rip-off.

You know what they say about family - blood is thicker than water.

But maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.

You know what they say about drinking too much tequila...

Can't remember.

You know what they say about picking up baby birds...

He who pick up tiny bird acquires small pecker

You know what they say about jokes with the wrong punchlines?

To get to the other side.

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You know what they say about bathrooms...

That's where shit goes down.

You know what they say about a guy with a big boat...

Big dock.

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Do you know what they say about "friends with benefits"?

... they just cum and go.

You know what they say about people with an architecture fetish…

Build it and they will come

You know what they say about opinions?

Take away the 3.14159265359 and you have onions

You know what they say about frostbite?

Once it goes black it never comes back!!!!

You know what they say about Alabama

everything is relative.

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You know what they say about Mexican and black people jokes.

once you heard Juan, you've heard jamal.

Never date a left-handed woman. You know what they say...

Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey

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"You know what they say about blind prostitutes?"

..."You've really got to hand it to them." -Fred Willard

You know what they say about big feet, right?

Dad was a clown

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You know what they say about driving a hearse..

It's quite the undertaking.

You know what they say about German laxatives

They bring out the wurst in you

You know what they say in prison

No noose is good noose

I'm really awful at remembering classic sayings but you know what they say

Practise makes it better

you know what they say about elephants with nasally voices

They got a lot of junk in the trunk

You know what they say...

The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery

You know what they say about New York Cheesecake?

If you can bake it there, you can bake it anywhere.

You know what they say about the French royal family?

It was a good idea on paper but they lost their heads in the execution.

Well you know what they say...

What... I never said I knew.

You know what they say about women and politics?

Righty tighty, lefty loosey

You know what they say about German kids?

They're kinder over there

(yoinked from u/vatzhie04, it was too good to resist)

You know what they say. Big hands, big feet...

Two outta three ain't bad!

My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits...

They Pulp Fiction.

You know what they say about incest.

Closer the kin, the deeper in.

You know what they say when you have a proctologist for a friend...

With a friend like that, you don't need an enema.

You know what they say about guys with big feet?

Also, do you know what they say about guys that drive huge trucks?

Now you know why people are terrified of clowns.

You know what they say;

Your body is a temple, make sure you charge people for entrance.

You know what they say about chatty women?

Nothing because they don't let us talk.

You know what they say

If the water slide is broken, the log ride's still open!

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I was shocked to learn that a famous male pornstar had received $1,000,000 for his sperm. But, you know what they say

Sex cells.

You know what they say about vasectomies...

There's a vas deferens between the good ones and the bad ones.

Thought of this yesterday, probobally done before but whatever

Do you know what they say about sous chefs?

They can dish it, but they can't take it.

You know what they say...

A repost a day keeps the new content away

You know what they say about re-marrying

It's a wife changing experience

You know what they say about mathematics and religion..

Sin-ning can cos(t)

You know what they say about Pi Day...

It really is an irrational holiday.

You know what they say about using networking cables for bondage.

It gets pretty kinky.

You know what they say about large indoor shopping centers...

Once you've been to one, you've been to the mall.

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

You know what they say about herbal medicine...

Thyme heals all wounds.

You know what they say about fighting testicular cancer...

It sure takes balls.

You know what they say, you're not crazy you can talk to yourself you're just crazy if you respond

You're not wrong about this one

You know what they say about people with big feet...

You could easily get a part-time job as a clown

You know what they say about incest...

It doesn’t count if they yell “No Chromo”

You Know What They Say About Eggs

All my friends tell me you know you've kept your eggs in the fridge for too long when they hatch, but that's absurd! I've had some in the fridge for months and there's hardly a crack.



But they are hissing at me.



........





I think one's looking at m...

You know what they say about big chins?

Wow thats a bIg chin.

You know what they say about the song "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

The urge to sing is just a whim away

You know what they say about going to a funeral

If you’re dyslexic it’s real fun.

You know what they say about the Navy...

100 men go in and 50 couples come out.

You know what they say: if it ain't broke

Cheap people don't recommend it.

Do you know what they say about Bomb Disposal Operators?

They only make one mistake in their whole life.

You know what they say about prison...

You go in a tight end and come out a wide receiver

You ever notice that all Dillards are basically the same and only exist in malls? You know what they say though...

...when you've seen one Dillards, you've seen a mall.

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My girlfriend left me because of my premature ejaculation problem. Well, you know what they say...

Easy come, easy go

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You know what they say about the blind prostitute ....

She'll never see you coming

You know what they say in Seattle, if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes...

then shoot yourself in the face.


R.I.P. Kurt Cobain

You know what they say about fast typers?[OC]

They can make a girl qwert

Credit: sumkid (Maria) and I

You know what they say...

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name

You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle...

They moo in mysterious waves

You know what they say about non sequiturs...

I LOVE pineapple upside down cake!

(I just made this up today, and I'm so proud. I told my coworkers, but they told me to stop doing drugs.)

You know what they say about citing a source with more than 2 authors..

It's not hard et al.

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