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You Fall Asleep Jokes

Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, reduces anxiety and helps you to live longer.

Until they start to fart in their sleep.

Boss: If you fall asleep again today, I'll fire you.

Me: ok

Boss: Now go and do the sheep inventory.

What do you call it when you fall asleep on a rocket?

Spacing out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You fall asleep in lecture

and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?

If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.

How do you know if you have bad acne?

You fall asleep in the library, and when you wake up, a blind man is reading your face

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary

I, the Penis, hereby demand a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has...

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

How to catch an elephant

You need a boring book, a pair of binoculars, a pair of tweezers, and a beer bottle.

First, read the boring book until you fall asleep. When an elephant comes along he will look over your shoulder and read the book, and because it's so boring he will fall asleep too. So then you wake up! Now ...

An old Jewish couple is going to bed

The husband can't fall asleep, so his wife asks him:
- Abraham, why can't you fall asleep?
The husband responds:
- I owe Binyamin a lot of money, and I don't think I can give it back in time.
The wife is annoyed, picks up a phone and dials a number on it:
-Hello, Binyamin? Abraham is ...

Don't mess with the doctor

A guy goes to a doctor and he says , sir I am having this problem for a very long time

Doctor asks what it is and the guy replies

" whenever I walk ,my one foot goes in front of the other one "

Doctor thinks for a while and writes a pescription, turns towards the guy and says ...

my doctor told me to count sheep

I was having trouble sleeping so I finally decided to see a doctor. He asked me some questions and then eventually came to a conclusion. "I know this may sound silly, but try counting sheep to help you fall asleep." he said. Well I don't know what this doctor was thinking because I have been up for...

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