A priest is walking around looking for the supermarket.
He sees a drug addict sitting on the ground and asks him for directions. The addict shows him the way and goes back to his spot on the ground. The priest starts to head his way but his heart goes out to the poor man so he returns to him.
"Young man I see that you are struggling, let me ...
A man decides to treat himself one day and buys a ticket to the Superbowl.
He bought the ticket the day of and got a seat in the nosebleeds. He arrived a little late to the game and as he was entering the stadium he noticed a man with an empty seat right behind his teams bench. Ever the opportunist he walks over and asks the man if the seat's taken.
"It isn't actual...
Mom, let me introduce my girlfriend
Mom: You couldn't find anyone better?
Me: Leave her alone, I love her!
Mom: Shut up, I'm speaking to her.
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