UPJOKE

You Are What You Eat Jokes

They say you are what you eat...

today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.

Officer, if you are what you eat...

Then I'm an innocent man.

They say "You are what you eat"...

... but that can't be true, because I don't feel like a large Italian with everything.

“You are what you eat”

Cannibal defends himself against identity theft charges

You are what you eat

son: if you eat a lot of bananas will that make you go bananas?
Dad: hmm maybe. Your brother eats a lot of corn and he’s corny. Your sister eats a lot of cheese and she’s cheesy. Your mother eats a lot of nuts and she’s nuts and I eat.. I guess you could say I’m a scaredy cat
Son: huh?
Da...

My dietitian once told me "You are what you eat."

That was his last words though, I am a dietitian now.

They say, you are what you eat.

but idk man, i dont remember eating depression.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I guess it's true that you are what you eat

After all, Ellen Degeneres turned out to be a cunt

They say you are what you eat

But I never ate a human

If you are what you eat then...

...Jeffery Dahmer is a perfectly normal person

The statement "You are what you eat" isn't really true.

If you eat a vegetarian, you probably aren't a vegetarian.

They say you are what you eat...

Yesterday I ate ready-to-eat apricots and then I was ready to eat apricots.

You are what you eat!

This explains why I’m fast, cheap, and easy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"You are what you eat"

Big fucking lie, I never had pussy

If you are what you eat

Someone in China is batman

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If you are what you eat...

Then that would explain why my ex is such an asshole.

They say you are what you eat

Guess I should cut out the vegetables

A wise squirrel once said "you are what you eat".

Don't believe him, he was a nut.

If they say you are what you eat

Then I sure as hell understand why you wouldn’t wanna eat your vegetables.

You know the saying "You are what you eat"?

Well if I eat a gold nugget will I finnaly be worth something?

If "you are what you eat"

Why is cannibalism considered to be inhuman?

There's an old saying that goes "You are what you eat".

I suppose that would explain why my vegan friend has been in a coma all this time.

If "You are what you eat" was true...

My sister would be a vegetable,

My friend would be a hunk of meat,

And I would remain a human...

My parents told me "you are what you eat"

And thats why I don't eat vegetables.

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They say you are what you eat

No wonder cannibals are such dicks

You are what you eat...

This post/comment has been edited in protest against Reddit's upcoming changes to the API.

One way Reddit could still make lots of money, even if nobody ever created another post or comment, is by selling the existing data (conversations in threads, etc.) to AI language model companies. Editi...

They say you are what you eat

No wonder my healthy grandma died as a vegetable.

You are what you eat...

...said one squirrel to another.

The other said in disbelief, "You're nuts."

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

THEREFORE, YOU ARE NOTHING.

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They say 'You are what you eat', but

I can't remember eating a hairy asshole.

If it's true that you are what you eat...

Furries are a lot of things, but at least they aren't vegans.

If you are what you eat...

Then there's nobody living in Ethiopia.

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If you are what you eat...

I can see why some men are assholes and some women are dicks.

"You are what you eat" thats funny, I don't remember eating

a pathetic failure

So we all know the saying, you are what you eat

Does that mean if I eat vegetables, I'll become disabled?

My friend Richard always says, "you are what you eat"

His nickname checks out.

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They say you are what you eat...

Funny though... I don't recall eating large amounts of asshole.

Someone told me you are what you eat...

It's a relief to know that I'm human.

Edit 1: Pretty sure this is OC

My friend said "you are what you eat"

TIL I'm a dead baby

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I once heard of this man who told me "You are what you eat"...

But I just don't understand why such an intelligent person would be called an asshole many times.

A nutritionist tells an anorexic patient, "You are what you eat."

The anorexic person yells back in an offended tone, "So you're saying that I'm nothing?!"

I hear you are what you eat

Must be why I'm such a child

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Once my gym teacher told me "you are what you eat."

I Immediately replied "you callin' me a pussy?"

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My mom says that you are what you eat.

That's strange, because I haven't eaten any sexy beast recently...

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