UPJOKE

Yoga Instructor Jokes

A yoga instructor lives with his wife and mother ...

His mother is unhappy with their living situation. One day, the yoga instructor's wife asks her why she doesn't look for her own place. The mother says that she wants to, but every time she brings it up with her son, he says the same thing. The wife says "what does he say?". The mother replies "...

My yoga instructor came to the yoga session drunk today

He put me in an awkward position

Job interview for yoga instructor

Guy: so what are the hours like here?

Yoga instructor: ohhh were veryyyy flexible

What did the yoga instructor say when they were asked if they wanted to go out for dinner?

Nah, ima stay

My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn't want to leave the studio...

She kept telling me it was done but I said "namaste"

Yoga instructor killed one of his clients.

The murder was premeditated.

What did the yoga instructor say when the police accused him of beating someone with a plank?

That's a stretch

My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm.

She was very flexible.

A yoga instructor killed a student before class started

He's being charged with pre-meditation murder.

I asked my yoga instructor if she wanted to go get lunch, but she turned me down.

She said "Namaste right here."

What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted?

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

A yoga instructor ends every class with a mediation, allowing people lay down and relax before slowly filing out for the night. A half hour passes and the instructor is surprised to see one man remain in her studio.

Annoyed, she walks over to him and asks if he plans on leaving anytime soon .
The man takes a deep, meditative breath and calmly replies, “Nah, Imma stay”.

Doing the splits

I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Crap dad jokes are the best.

Went to a yoga instructor to ask about getting some lessons.

He said "are you flexible?"
I reply "well I can't do Tuesdays."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband a wife are having dinner

A husband a wife are having dinner.

The wife says, "honey, I have two very important things I need to tell you. First, I've been cheating on you. Second, I'm bisexual. I discovered I'm also attracted to women."

The man is shocked, and pauses to take it all in. He feels betrayed, bu...

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