UPJOKE

Years Of Service Jokes

After years of service, my old printer died yesterday.

It was like a Brother to me.

A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service.

When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, "No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."

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The retiring postman

A Postman was retiring after 35 years of service.

The town's people appreciated his work and presented him different gifts.

In one house a young lady took him to her bedroom gave him good sex, a lavish lunch and a fiver.

The Postman was very happy and asked

\- "But why ...

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Retiring from the British Army can be complicated. (Long)

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, (based upon...

A doctor is retiring, he mostly performed circumcisions his whole career...

...and he collected the remainders in a large glass jar. He brings the jar to a leather tanner and explains that it’s all he has to remember 50 years of service to his community - please make something, anything, nice from it.

The leather tanner says no problem; to come back in a week.
...

There was once a college math professor

While he was on tenure, he decided to continue taking classes in other subject areas because they were offered to him at a discounted cost. After 40 years of teaching, the professor decided to retire. Over his time working, he had amassed enough credits to have completed 180 different major programs...

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A Jewish congregation...

in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.

When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you...

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It was the mailman's lat day...

... and while going through his route, caring residents would see him and give him a gift for all of his hard work over the years.

He received nothing extraordinary until he reached a house where there happen to live a very attractive trophy wife. She swung the door open upon his revival, ha...

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New HR policy

Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduced budget, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.


Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase...

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A dog breeders prize sire is nearing retirement age

The old hound had been prodigious, siring litter after litter, but the breeder felt that the time had come to introduce more variety in his dogs. His problem was that the old hound would chase off all the new sires, and he didn’t have it in him to give his first dog the snip after years of service, ...

The Deep Sea Marine company was sued by a disgruntled customer.

The Deep Sea Marine claimed to be the best at making flawless, impenetrable submarines. Of their five years of service, they were sued only once for a faulty submarine.

"I demand a refund, and more! I almost died!" shouted the customer.

The company was confused entirely, until the law...

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lucky mailman

after 20 years on the job the local postman is about to retire and on this last scheduled delivery run he finds himself beset with thankful friends and neighbours, all of whom show their appreciation of his years of service. loaded down with gift baskets, wine, flowers and thank you cards he reaches...

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