UPJOKE

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one like" The manager groaned an...

A husband went to the sheriffs department to report his wife missing.

A husband went to the sheriffs department to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing she went shopping yesterday and hasn't come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure a little over five foot tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband:...

Jeb and Jethro

Jeb and Jethro live in the hills, about 5 miles outside of town. Jeb asks Jethro to go in to town to pick up some lumber. Jethro walks the 5 miles to town to the local

lumberyard.

"Jeb says we're gonna need some 4 x 2's" Jethro tells the yardman.

"Do you mean 2 x 4's?" asks...

Recently I quadrupled all of the money to my name.

0 x 4 = 0

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man is down on his luck and needs a drink.

He stops at the busy tavern hoping someone will buy him one. He tells everyone in earshot that if anyone puts a piece of wood in front of him, he can tell them what type of wood it is and where it came from just by smelling it, if they buy him a drink.

The bartender says "okay" and accepts. A...

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