Wrong Way Jokes

They don't have backwards compatibility.

...the wrong way.

I always have to tell her to use more lube

What do you call a construction machine that doesn't work?



>!Erectile Dysfunction!<

He's a real goody one-shoe.

science friction

“Where the heck do you think you’re going?” the cop asks.
“I don’t know, but I must be late because it looks like everyone is coming back.”

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

Back to the studio.

Ah theyre drunk, how do they know where were going.

I thought I had better give my grandad, who was visiting me, a call and warn him.
He said, "There's not just one, there's hundreds of them."

“It’s not just one,” the husband replied, “everyone’s doing it!”

*Joke courtesy of my sibling.*

...instead of following the directions exactly, I just skimmed them.

When in fact pulleys are very efficient.

\[OC\]

so I asked our pilot Yoda if we were going the right way to which he responded, "Off course we are!"

A man is listening to the radio in his car when the broadcast is interrupted: “Attention! Attention! A driver is heading down the highway in the wrong direction”

The man scans the road, clogged with oncoming traffic, and nutters to himself, “What do you mean *a* driver? I see hundreds of the... read more

I didn't announce to anyone I was eating it.

I think it was a sign.

I couldn't believe the NEWS!

to the dog.

There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Ladies, if a man brings you breakfast whilst you are still in bed, he wants to hear: "Oooh, that is so cute, thank you! I love you!" and not "HOW THE FRAK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE YOU FRAKKING CREEP?!?!?!".



Just FYI.

Through the driver's door.

A bad pickup line.

I asked if he was ok. He said, "yeah, that's why they call it 'cough-ee'"

A lady saw a man on the news driving the wrong way down the motorway. She phoned her husband, who also drove that route home, to warn him.

Lady: Be careful on your way back, there's a man driving the wrong way down the motorway.

Husband: Just one?! There's bloody hundreds of them!

The man, peeking out the window, scoffs to himself as he thinks “just one? All these idiots are going the wrong way!”

Stanley said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

She quickly calls her husband to tell him to “Be careful driving home, there’s an idiot driving the wrong way”

He says “One idiot? They’re all driving the wrong way!”

Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you.

It’s rush hour around St. Paul and she knows Ole will be on his way home from the office. As she’s putting things in the oven, she hears a story about a car going the wrong way on the interstate! She immediately calls Ole to let him know he needs to be careful.

“Ole, are you headed home soon?... read more

He was walking.

She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.

"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."

Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"

His wife calls him and says, “babe, be careful out there, radio just said that there’s a rogue car driving the wrong way on the M12!”

The man shouts over the phone, “Can’t hear you babe! Everyone’s driving the wrong way!”

I guess that rubbed her the wrong way.

An old guy is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his cellphone. "Honey", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway."

"It's worse than that," he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"

It just rubs me the wrong way

A man drives his car on the highway, when he hears the following traffic warning on the radio "Drivers, be careful there is a wrong way driver coming on the highway 9 in the direction of Berlin."
"Whaat?", shouts out the man to himself. "One?? More like a thousand of them!!"

when his wife calls him. He picks up and asks what the matter is. She says, "I want you to be careful honey, I heard on the radio there's a lunatic barreling down the highway going the wrong way." He replies, "it's much worse than that, there's hundreds of them

But it would probably rub some kids the wrong way.

She turns on the radio and hears: Alert! Alert! All drivers! There’s a car driving the wrong way on the highway!
Her husband replies: a car on the wrong way? I see like 20 in front of me.

"I think you've got me pegged the wrong way."