UPJOKE

Writing A Book Jokes

I'm writing a book on how tornados and hurricanes develop....

At the moment it's just a draft.

I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.'

If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.

Please don't buy it.

I’m writing a book

On how to increase the military population in our armed forces.

So far, all I’ve got is the draft.

I am writing a book about the things I should be doing in life.

It’s an oughttobiography.

My neighbour just finished writing a book on "How to make money."

Now he needs money to publish it.
I told him to read the book

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I’m writing a book on losing your virginity

It’s important to put it in the first person

I just finished writing a book on cats

It would have been a lot easier if I had written it on paper though

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I’m writing a book where I document and rate all my poops

It’s called my log log

I'm writing a book with a huge plot twist

So that you'll think:

"Oh, this is how it's gonna be"

And then it turns out to be completely different

Because I'm not actually writing a book.

I started writing a book about apathy once …

I couldn’t be bothered finishing it!

A friend of mine is writing a book on Californian sea lions.

I assured him that paper would be much easier.

I've been writing a book about Joseph Fritzl...

I think it's gonna be a big cellar.

Writing a book about a friend that lives with otters by the water

Going to call it "homies otter sea"

If someone was writing a book about tsunamis...

If someone was writing a book about tsunamis and they suddenly got a rush of ideas on what to call it, would that be considered a title wave?

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Writing a book called "The Art of Not Giving a Fuck". Will I get into legal trouble?

The difference is subtle.

I'm writing a book on Impostor Syndrome!

Actually, wait a minute. Whatever made me think *I* was qualified to do that?

\*trudges off disconsolately\*

I'm writing a book to help surgeons to use Eastern meditation to overcome anxiety in the operating theatre...

I'm going to call it *The Calmer Suture.*

I’m writing a book about the advantages and disadvantages of being both an author and a scammer.

It’s called Prose and Cons

I'm writing a book called "Fair In Height, For 5'1""

It's about a short guy that gets too heated at a bagel store.

I'm writing a book on procrastination

I'm only on page 1 sadly

i'm writing a book on overcoming foot pain

it's called the agony of defeat

I’m writing a book about an American who falls off a cruise ship and washes up on the shore of a land run by Satan-worshiping extraterrestrial lizard people.

I’m calling it “Gullible’s Travels.”

I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome...

... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'

Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover.

She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."

I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

My buddy Frank is a HUGE fan of diarrhea. I was thinking of writing a book about him, but it looks like the title is already taken.

"The Diary of Anne Frank"

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

I asked where I could find the Professor of Directions.

His assistant said he was busy writing a book.

I said, "What is the book about?"

He said, "It's a book about the opposite of left."

I said, "That sounds about right."

Trying to find an old "man/woman" joke from 1997 newsgroup

Back in the late 90's, I saw a joke about a man and a woman. They decided they would take turns, writing a book together.

The woman starts out writing this love story, then, the man turns it into a war story and they end up in a huge fight. If anyone has this classic, or a link to it, I w...

The author of the book " How to murder your husband" is on trial for murdering her husband

I'm now writing a book " how to be a billionaire"

A world renowned doctor is asked to visit a local mental institute to ensure all the patients truly belonged there...

He is told he will visit three patients and will be supervised by the institutes owner. When he arrives he visits the first patient in his room and sees the patient defecating into his own hands and smearing it on the wall. He quickly turns towards the supervisor  and says “this man truly belongs he...

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My friend who was sick of my jokes says

"How about you stop sitting on your ass all day coming up with terrible puns, and start writing a book or something!"

Me: "Now that.... is a novel idea!!!!"

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