UPJOKE

Worst Possible Jokes

I hosted the worst possible orgy.

Nobody came.

[Serious] Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive.

A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar.


I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well...until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones...and picked the worst possible one to start with...

The worst possible pet you can have is an atom

They are always up to something when you're not looking, and when you look back they act totally innocent. If they are even still there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the worst possible response when your kid comes out as gay?

"Hi Gay, I'm Dad!"

If Hell is customized to be the worst possible experience for each individual....

Then I guess I’ll never die

What is the worst possible slogan for someone running for president in Germany?

Make Germany great again

My whole life I've wanted to be a singer in the worst possible way

I just got booed off the stage at karaoke night so I think I've succeeded.

What's the worst possible thing to hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson?

"I'm not Willie Nelson."
— David Sadaris

Apparently Liquor Stores are, “Essential Business,” in New York City

After all, it’s the only way Mayor DeBlasio could manage to make the worst possible decisions in every situation he has ever been in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bartender is closing down his bar

A bartender is closing down his bar at the end of the evening. Three men remain hunched over at the bar. Each has been there the whole night and has been drinking heavily, but none of them seem to have the strength or desire to strike up a conversation.

As the bartender cleans the last few g...

A man robs a bank to get away from his wife...

As he sat on the steps of the bank waiting for the police to come he was relieved with thoughts of never having to see his wife again.

Later In the court room waiting for his ruling, he was excited to finally be somewhere far far away from her.

Seeing this the judge thought of the wor...

Back when I was in school...

I was a huge metal fan. One day this really pretty girl came over and sat down next to me in the lunch room. I tried so hard to be cool, I'd never tried to be cool so hard in my life!

Then the worst possible thing happened. The teacher started walking over towards me, and when she got there....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One spooky night on Halloween...

Chris, an urban adventurer. was looking to have some fun.

He decided that since it was Halloween, it would be the perfect time to explore a spooky house. He asked the locals if they knew of any, and they informed him of this abandoned mansion not to far from where he lived. He was warned cou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long]Another joke from my country

Part 1

There was a guy in a small village called 'Amda' and he had a weird fetish of trying to stick his dick in anyone who bends over infront of him.

People in his village started to avoid him once they got to know this fetish of his and that made Amda desperate to stick his dick in ...

It's worth it

One of my buddies loves this joke and I figured I would share it with the reddit world because I love it too:

So this guy was driving through the desert, it was a hot day and his car was an old junker. About 5 miles outside of town the car finnally kicks the bucket. So, with no other choice, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

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