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Worst Joke Jokes

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This is the worst joke I know. "A mad scientist is developing an immortality serum..."

"...and so far it works perfectly in cell culture, in worms, in mice and rats, and in racoons. Next step is testing it in dolphins. As she's reaching for the syringes for her test subjects, she notices that she's run out of serum and has to prepare a new batch. The primary ingredient is a chemi...

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8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

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Worst joke I know (nsfw)

I was eating out this chick and I tasted horse semen.
So I looked up and said " Ew grandma! Is that how you died?"

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my best/worst joke

Sorry for any formatting/language issues!

A man is sitting at work, when suddenly his supervisor walks by and asks:
-hey man, how are you doing? Listen. I need to ask you something. Have you ever seen a penguin?
The man thinks for a second and answers that no, he hasn't.
-YOU HAVE N...

Give me your best/worst jokes.

There is a really cute blonde barista at the coffee shop I go to, I already told her the two best I have. Please send me your best or worst. Dad jokes are extra appreciated.

//actual joke I told her//

Did you hear the big science news? They discovered a new element. It has elemental sy...

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The worst joke I can remember [nsfw] Warning: this joke is long and terrible

A woman was driving through a remote section of desert at night, thoroughly lost. Suddenly, a coyote ran into the road ahead of her! Slamming on the brakes, the woman was astounded to see a man come running from out of the darkness toward the coyote. In one smooth motion, the strange man took his...

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The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

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Worst joke I've ever heard

What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

My best worst joke

What dinosaur is known for its manners?

A please-iosaur

When I was bar tending I would tell people this was the worst joke they’ll ever hear that will still make them laugh. I always just called it. “Grandma”

A boy comes home from school one day skipping football practice cuz he isn’t feeling well.
When he gets home he grabs a snack and sits down to watch some TV.
During the show he hears some noises coming from his parents room.
His parents not being home at that time normally he walks down ...

Worst joke ever.

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

What’s yours?

Best Worst Joke Ever: How do you get water into a watermelon?

You plant it...in the spring!

Whats the worst joke to hear during a cremation?

Knock knock

Ok, so this might be the worst joke of all time

So it all started the day I was born...

This is probably the worst joke that I -a dad - ever told. But it still made my daughter laugh.

My wife, teenage daughter and I are sitting in a restaurant discussing Italian cuisine.

Wife: There's nothing better than fresh gnocchi.

Me: There's nothing better than getting fresh and gnocching someone up.

Contender for worst joke of the day: What do you call the offspring of farm chickens?

Children of the Cornish Hens.

Would have been 'better' if I had remembered to write it correctly... (eye roll).

Was supposed to be: What do you call the evil offspring of farm chickens?

Ah well... that's why you don't write distracted. *Though, I just did*

My worst joke ever told

What do you call the fallout of a cheese nuke? Debrie.

The worst joke on the planet.

I bought a playstation 4.

The Xbox 1 X broke it.

SO I called the ambulance

The sound it made was

***WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U***

What's the worst joke you can say to a Jehovah's Witness?

Knock knock

Where is the safest place to be on a capsizing ship? (Worst joke ever)

The Galley!

Everything but the kitchen sinks.

^(I warned you)

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(Worst Joke) Why did Hitler open the window?

To let fresh aryan

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Possibly the worst joke of all time.

What do you call a motor's ear?

An engineer.

Finding the worst jokes ever.[Warning]

I'd like to see where my sense of humour stops.
Yes I have seen the other post about dark jokes
But I didn't honestly find any of them to be that bad.


Post the worst jokes you can think of or even find, and I don't mean bad as in badly written or just standardly un-funny
Example:...

Worst Joke Ever

Two whales are sitting in a bar and one whale says "eeeyyoooo eeeeyyy yyeeooo oooyyy ooeeeee" and the other whale says "Shut up Steve, you're drunk."

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And this is the worst joke I know...

So a teenage girl walks up to her dad, and asks to use the family car. The father agrees, but only if she gives him a blowjob. The daughter things this is really gross, but really needs the car at the same time. So she goes down on her dad.


A minute later, she looks up at him and says 'Da...

What is the worst joke in philosophy?

One that kant be repeated.

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

Eyes always tell the worst jokes

They're cornea.

*Worst joke award * Three men are sitting in a bar.........

a Canadian, an American and an Australian. They've been talking all afternoon about how each is the best at picking up females, each boasting over the other. To settle this the three decide to place a bet, that being the first of the three to pick up the very next female to walk into the bar will b...

While we are sharing terrible time wasting pun jokes... this is the worst one I have ever heard

A friend of mine told me this one some years ago. It is the worst joke I have ever heard in my life.

A mad scientist, up on his secret sea-side mountaintop lair, is working on a life extension serum. He has nearly perfected it, and is about to begin testing it on dolphins.

Unfortun...

What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue.

What is a dog’s favorite part of a tree?

Bark

My kids said this was the worst joke ever… but I liked it!!

“Hey, bug on my back,” asked a fly. “Are you a mite?”

“I mite be,” giggled the mite.

The fly groaned. “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard!”

“Well, what did you expect?” said the mite. “I came up with it on the fly.”

Written on My Forehead

John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now".
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don't think so".
Fine, then t...

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette die and go to heaven...

There they are greeted by St. Peter who looks at them grimly.

"Unfortunately, heaven is quite full at the moment so you must all undergo a test to prove your worth. Before you all is the stairway to heaven totalling one thousand steps. On each step I will tell you a joke, they will get progre...

What do you call a baby animal lover

A Peta-phile



worst joke 2020

Two cows are standing in a field...

And one cow asks the other “Have you heard of this Mad Cow disease? They say that we will only catch it if we eat other cows.” To which the other cow replies, “Yep... good thing I’m a Helicopter!”

Worst Joke Ever.

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Pretty meta bro

Cake day posts are annoying and uncreative, so many people make anti cake day posts. These can be just as bad, and are only rarely funny if they are posted on the poster's cake day, (aka: anti cake day cake day posts). This possess a bit of a conundrum, as here in Reddit, we make fun of things, but ...

What does a thieving pig say?

Yoink.



My school was having a contest for the worst joke of the week and this was the best (or i guess worst) I had.

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An egg walks into a bar.

Worst joke ever written...
An egg walks into a bar and gets a drink and sits at the best seat in the place.
A chicken comes in,gets a drink and heads over to the good seats.
What the hell are you doing here egg, that's my seat squawks the chicken.
Fuck off chicken...I came here first.

Guy needed for joke to work: Name a country in Asia

Neckbeard: M’laysia

P.S
I’m sorry for posting this but it’s just the worst joke I’ve ever been able to think up on my own and I’m sort of proud.

A midwife calls a doctor

“Doctor she’s been in labor for 36 hours we need to do a c section.”
“Not so fast,” says the doctor “there’s one more thing to try”

He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says “what do you call maids in space.”

After the woman gives him a blank stare the doctor says “Va...

Greatest Joke Ever

2 frogs are sitting next to each other. "Are you sick" asks the first frog. "No, wtf, why?" Answers the 2nd one. "Because you look green". XD (okay, I know, this is officially the worst joke ever)

I just ate some pasta...

...and it was worth every Penne.

^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)

There's two cats, and both have to swim across a lake.

The first cats name is One, two, three, while the second cats name is Un, deux, trois. Which cat makes it to the other side of the lake?

One, two, three makes it across because Un, deux trois, quatre, cinq.

This is by far one of the worst jokes I've ever heard and you can only underst...

Jesus is on the cross and...

He shouts “Peter, Peter!”

Peter hears him from 200m away and starts making his way through the crowd and soldiers. At 150m a Roman soldier slashes his right arm off but Peter keeps going determined saying “I am coming master!”

Jesus shouts again “Peter, Peter!”

Peter, now with o...

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Friend of mine dropped this awful Knock Knock joke on me

A friend of mine walked up to me the other day and proceeded to begin the conversation with this:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Barack Obama.
Barack Obama who?
Barack Obama who? Are you kidding me? He's the president! Do you live under a fucking rock?

And then he stormed off. Q...

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