UPJOKE

Working Late Jokes

An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him.

The Devil made him an offer. “I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife’s soul, the souls of your child...

A mortician was working late one night...

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen!

“I’m sorry M...

A Salesman is working late one night to close a deal with some clients.

They start to get hungry, so he calls down to the office cafeteria to see if they can fix anything. The kitchen is already closed for the night, so the best the chef can do is whip up some sandwiches. As the chef is plating them up, he accidentally knocks the pickle jar off the counter and shatter...

Normally the wife picks up our four kids at school, but today she sent me a text, "Working late. Please pick up kids <3"

It was really hard deciding which two to leave behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After telling his wife he was working late at the office

...a man took his secretary to a hotel room and had wild sex with her. But on his way home, he noticed a huge love bite on his neck and began to panic. What would he tell his wife?
Walking in the door he was greeted by his excited dog. In a moment of inspiration he dropped to the floor and preten...

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I said, “I’m working late tonight so I won’t be home until about midnight”

My wife said, “That’s the fifth time this week. Are you cheating on me?”


I said, “Er .. no .. why would you think that?”


She said, “Because you’re a fucking milkman”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mortician is working late...

when his assistant comes out of the back and says "you won't believe this! This dead woman has a shrimp in her pussy!"

The mortician says, "no way, that's ridiculous."

They both go back to where the bodies are kept and the assistant points and says, "look, right there. That's a shrimp ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two girls die and go to Heaven...

They meet up there, realizing they know each other and are surprised to see the other one dead.

"Wow! What happened to you?" Asks the firs one.

"Hypothermia.. It was soo cold, but after a while I just wanted to sleep and looks like I am never waking up. How about you?"

"Heart at...

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