UPJOKE

My work colleague:"I've divorced my wife and the court has decided that we have to split the house in two..."

I asked him: "What part of the house will you get?"

He replied: "The outside..."

My work colleague rejected me today.

She said we were better office friends.

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A businessman is convinced by a work colleague to go out for a drink after work... 'OK, but just the one mind you, my wife gets terribly upset if I come home drunk!'

After a couple in the pub near the office he is talked into heading up town for some more drinks. At each new round of drinks he mentions that he shouldn't drink any more or his wife will make his life hell!


Finally they decide that they've had enough to drink and head for the train stati...

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A man goes to the police to report sexual harassment in the work place by a group of horny work colleagues.

He's a zoo keeper in the rhino enclosure.

My work colleague asked me

“Why do you keep a picture of your wife on your desk if you hate her so much?”


I replied, “In case I’m tempted to take a day off.”

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Earlier today a work colleague called me a "shallow Neanderthal mysoginist"

I let it pass though because she has fantastic tits.

My work colleagues and I had a debate about who we thought America's most notorious assassin was.

Lee Harvey Oswald won by a long shot.

This one’s true. A work colleague of mine told me she went to Bangkok on her honeymoon. I replied,

I know you did, but where did you go?

So a work colleague told me that Prince died and they found his body in a lift.

Well, he was obviously coming down with something.

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Final exam at the FBI

Three men isolated from each other are sitting in a room. The examiner goes to the first man: "Go into the room in front of you, there is your girlfriend inside. She comitted a war crime. Take the gun and kill her." He goes inside and after 10 minutes he came out and said: "Im sorry, i can't do this...

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How does a duck fart?

With his ass quack!

Courtesy of my wife's random work colleagues.

Albert Einstein's final words

Lying on his death bed at Princeton Hospital in New Jersey, Einstein starts to write letters to his family, friends and work colleagues.

The first letter writes: "To my children, know that I am ready to die. I have lived a good and meaningful life and I wish to fade into what comes next eleg...

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Old Mary and Frank have been having some matrimonial issues...

No matter how hard he tries, Frank just can't bring Mary to orgasm anymore.

They decide to visit the doctor for help, because they love each other, in all the ways, and this lack of intimacy is bringing them both down emotionally.

Thankfully the doctor has the answer. He advises Fran...

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