UPJOKE

A buxom topless dancer went to Mass dressed in her work clothes

The priest stopped her at the door and said “Miss, you can’t go in there like that” She said, “But Father, don’t I have a divine right?!” Father said, “You have a divine left, too, but you can’t take Mass here without a head covering.”

My wife reminds me everything

My wife reminds me every day before I leave something I forgot and wanted to leave.

Sometimes the car keys, sometimes the watch, sometimes the house keys, sometimes important documents, sometimes my mobile, and it makes me feel old and my memory is weak. So I decided to put a limit on my forg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man hires the best house painter in town to repaint his house but he's not cheap

The man doesn't care and agrees to the salary anyway, the next day the painter shows up and the man's hot wife opens the door because her husband is out.

She shows him the room where he can start and says that she will check on him every once in a while.

5 minutes later she shows up in...

Honey, before it starts.

-Honey can you bring me a beer before it starts?

She brings him a beer.

-Honey can you pass me the remote before it starts?

She passes him the remote.

-Honey can you put my work clothes in the washer before it starts?

She gets up and puts his working clothes in the...

Sherlock's Front Door

Dr. Watson arrived at 221-B Baker Street and was stunned to find his friend Sherlock Holmes out front in work clothes, painting the front door a pale yellow gloss.

"Holmes what are you doing?" asked the confused Watson.

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

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