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Wood Eye Jokes

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Wood Eye

Little Johnny had a tragic accident and lost his right eye. His parents were poor and couldn’t afford a replacement so Johnnys father crafted a wooden eye to put in the empty socket.

Johnny was very self conscious and in turn was very shy, especially around girls. His parents encouraged him ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wood eye

There was once a man who got an eye infection and had to get his eye removed, he could not afford a glass eye so his doctor made him a wooden one.
He was very self conscious about having a wood eye and as such he would only go to poorly lit bars to try to pick up chicks.

One night he was ...

Wood eye and Hairlip

It's time for the annual school dance, and this boy with a wooden eye is having problems getting a date. After being rejected by multiple girls, he settles on one girl that also has an impaired physical appearance, except she has a deformed top lip of her mouth.

She says yes and when the scho...

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Wood eye. (NSFW) (Long)

There's a boy in high school, who was born without an eye so has a wood eye as a filler. He always gets made fun of at school for it in every class he has. When he gets home one day he mentions to his father that prom is that weekend and that he has no one to go with because no one likes him.
...

Wood Eye

There was a young boy who had his eye put out when he was in middle school. His family was too poor to get him a glass eye, but his dad was a woodworker. So, his dad made him a wooden eye. When he returned to school, all of the kids made fun of him calling him, "Wood eye, wood eye." He tolerated the...

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A shy wood eye'd man.

A man takes a visit to the doctor to see what he can do about getting an artificial eye. He says to the doctor, "Doc I don't have much cash but can you give me an eye that looks as real as it gets for cheap?" The doctor responds, "I have a wood eye here for you and no one will be able to tell the di...

Surgery

Doctor: now normally we replace it with a glass ball, but for you we have one made out of cedar. Would you like that instead?
Patient: wood eye? Of course!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Martha had terrible acne and had very little luck getting dates.

She was so glad when Bill started taking an interest in her. She didn’t mind at all that Bill had a fake wooden eye that looked off in odd directions when he spoke. She was just happy to have a man finally take an interest in her despite her terrible acne problem.

For his part, Bill was ve...

Perfectly spell-checked poem

- I have a spelling checker.
- It came with my PC,
- It plainly marks four my revue,
- Mistakes I cannot sea.
- I've run this poem threw it,
- I'm sure your pleased to no,
- Its letter purfect in it's weigh,
- My checker tolled me sew...

Its the homecoming dance, and so far the gym is split between boys and girls.

Several minutes pass until the boys start talking to the girls and asking them to dance. One after another the girls get asked to. All but one remains. Nobody has asked her out due to her fake wooden eye that she has.

Then suddenly, one boy realizes her sitting alone and wishes she was havin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man loses his eye in a construction accident

He can't afford a good prostetic eye so the dr.s give him a woodden one and he gets real insequre about it. One day he gets the courage to go with his friends to a bar to meet a woman. His buddy spots a beautiful woman except her lips are verticle. He turns to wood eye willy and says hey she's a lit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would you like to dance? This is one of my favorite jokes. Hope y'all like it.

200 years ago, a boy's eye got poked out by a thorny branch. His father was a famous wood worker and decided to make the best thing he'd ever made! A wooden eye for his son.

The wooden eye looked pretty good-- most people couldn't tell it wasn't real. But still, the boy had low confidence bec...

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