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Window Seat Jokes

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Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and s...

Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City. He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a blonde woman sitting in his seat.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" sputtered Mr. Johnson. "I specifically booked this seat! Why aren't you sitting in your seat?!"

The blonde woman replied, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I'm sitting in this aisle seat until this plane lands in New York City."

Angrily, Mr. Johnson snatched the blo...

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Blind Pilots

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.


Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and th...

A timid little man was seated in the window seat of an airplane next to a scowling brute of a guy.

The little man was terrified of flying, and as soon as the plane took off, he felt sick. But his seatmate was fast asleep, and he couldn't figure out how to get past him to go to the bathroom. And then it was too late; he got sick all over the big guy. As he frantically wiped up the mess, careful no...

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[NSFW] A woman sits down on a plane for a long flight

Sitting in the window seat next to her is a middle aged man. Some time after the plane takes off the man lets out a small "Achoo!". Immediately he unzips his pants, pulls his dick out, wipes it off.

Aghast, the woman is so stunned that before she can speak he's zipped back up, staring out th...

A timid little man was terrified of flying, and was on a long distance trip.

He was on his first ever flight, and he had the window seat. Besides him sat a giant man, heavily tattooed, and not smelling the cleanest.

After the plane took off, the timid little fellow soon found himself feeling sick. But he didn't know how to get past the large fellow that sat between ...

How do you stop a kidnapper from putting you in the back of a van?

Just call shotgun, now you've got the window seat.

When I found out my girlfriend was pregnant I had an important decision to make.

Did I want a window seat or an aisle one?

Three Irishman

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road.

The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.

"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.

"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"<...

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A joke I heard in Wildlands

So these two marines board a flight to Houston.
No sooner had they settled down into their seats than an Army corporal came down the aisle and took the seat next to them.
So the corporal settles in, pulls off his boots, and gets comfortable.
The two Marines take one look at this guy and ...

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Bob’s flight

Bob is on his flight home from a long business trip.

He’s thankful to find the middle seat will be open for the upcoming 5 hour trip.

About 30 minutes after take off, he notices the man in the window seat sneeze and then proceed to take a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe off the he...

At the airport check-in counter

At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.

The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.

"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this ...

What are two blondes fighting over, on a motorcycle?

Over which one gets the window seat.

A man gets on an airplane

Phil gets on an airplane and starts looking for a seat. As he's walking toward the nearest window seat, he notices his friend Jack at the back of the plane. Phil waves his hand and says, “Hi, Jack!”

Phil was arrested and detained for seven hours.

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3 guys on a plane

3 guys on a plane who had never met, found themselves sitting next to each other on row of seats on a flight to Pittsburgh. After they had all sat down and got a chance to look at each other, something was strangely coincidental ... they each had a black eye.

The guy sitting in the isle seat ...

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