UPJOKE

Why Shouldn't You Jokes

Why shouldn't you iron a 4 leaf clover?

You don't want to press your luck!

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

Why shouldn't you wear a bra that was made in Chernobyl?

Fallout

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them!

Why shouldn't you write a book on penguins?

Because writing on paper is much easier.

Why shouldn't you study French philosophy before Roman poetry?

Because that would be putting Descarte before the Horace.

Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'd just "let it go".



My 6 year old told me this.



I will show myself out now...

Why shouldn't you yell into a colinder?

You'll strain your voice.



(credits go to u/trewpowor)

Why shouldn't you let your pokemon into the bathroom while you shower?

So they don't Pikachu.

Why shouldn't you joke about broken legs?

Because it's not Humerus

Why shouldn't you start a war with China?

Because they'll show a Wonton disregard for human life.

Why shouldn't you grow marijuana in the ground?

Because it's a pot plant.

Why shouldn't you ever fight a boxer?

Because the fight would be brief

Why shouldn't you start a war with a comedian?

They have a lot of experience with bombing.

Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?

Because it's only the first date.

why shouldn't you listen to strung out ducks on the street corner?

Because they're quack heads.

Why shouldn't you vote for a chicken?

When their day is over, they'll go for a coup.

Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?

It's pointless

Why shouldn't you fight Darth Vader?

Because the Sith are a *force* to be reckoned with!

Why shouldn't you put avocados in your eyes?

You could get guacoma.

Why shouldn't you trust a date who has a second watch?

They're a two-timer

Why shouldn't you bother to order a flatbread appetizer from an Indian restaurant?

It will be a naan starter.

Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?

Because lightning strikes the highest object.

Why shouldn't you eat mushrooms as an appetiser?

Because it leaves not-mushroom for the rest of your food.

Why shouldn't you invest in funeral homes?

It's a dying industry

Why shouldn't you carry too many bottles of Jack Daniels?

It's pretty whiskey; you might drop one.

-------------------

My 8 year old daughter came up with this one, I've been helping her tune it. How did we do?

Why shouldn't you mess with a poor landscaper?

They have bad tampers

Why shouldn't you get the national bird of the USA sick?

Because it'll be an ill eagle action.

Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?

**It's too high of a price 'toupee.'**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you fuck with Time ?

Coz he's relative

Why shouldn't you post to Reddit while driving?

becau

Why shouldn't you work for an Egyptian company?

They're all pyramid schemes

Why shouldn't you feed marijuana to cattle?

Because of the high steaks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you make friends in the men's restroom?

That's where all the dicks hang out

Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?

Too much sax and violins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you fight a dinosaur

Because you'll get Jur Ass Kicked.

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Why shouldn't you invest in muslim-owned businesses?

They never show a prophet.

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

Why shouldn't you mess with a paleontologist?

Because you'll get jurrasskicked.

Why shouldn't you go out with somebody who got a nose job?

Because they pick their nose

Why shouldn't you gamble in the jungle?

There's too many CHEETAHS!

(Source: My Dad)

Why shouldn't you play poker with really fat people?

Because they're going to fold a lot.

Why shouldn't you buy Russian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fall out.

Why shouldn't you use a fitting room in a store run by Team Rocket?

They might try to take a Pikachu!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you have phone sex?

Because you might get hearing aids.

Why shouldn't you argue with someone who has multiple personalities?

One of them might be a lawyer.

Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs?

They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you have sex with a Brexiteer?

Because they'll only give a weak pound!

Why shouldn't you Sprint in a restaurant?

You'll end up getting No Service.

Why shouldn't you trust the awning company?

Because they are shady.

Why shouldn't you share your food with a statistician?

Because they always want a large sample

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you have sex with Linux users?

Open sores.

Why shouldn't you throw away an old dolphin?

Because they can be re-porpoised!

Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?

The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.

Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan?

Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.

Why shouldn't you lie on your Resume?

It's less comfortable than your bed.

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with an Italian baker? 🇮🇹

Because he'll beat the focaccia.

Why shouldn't you let a shoe maker use your bathroom?

They'll clog your toilet.

[Bad Joke OC] Why shouldn't you interrupt a debate between cows in a marijuana field?

The steaks are too high.

Why shouldn't you argue with a 90 degree angle?

It's always right.

Why shouldn't you trust fake owls?

Because they tell you false-hoots

[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Why shouldn't you buy a shirt from Hulk Hogan?

Cause it's probably a rip-off

Why shouldn't you ask Yoda for money?

Because he's always a little short

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

He'll dessert you!

Why shouldn't you eat a chess sandwich?

It's stale, mate.

Why shouldn't you mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross.

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

Why shouldn't you play Uno with Donald Trump?

Because he steals all the Green Cards.

Why shouldn't you date a calculus teacher?

They're always gonna replace u

Why shouldn't you argue with an idiot?

Because they'll bring you down to their level,

And beat you with experience.

Why shouldn't you follow female leader?

because she's "Miss Leading"

Why shouldn't you live in a house with Fungi?

Because there's not Mush-room!

Why shouldn't you fart in an Apple Store?

Because it doesn't have Windows.

Why shouldn't you date a keeper?

You'll never get to score

Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman?

They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5.

Why shouldn't you change around a Pokemon?

Because he might peek at chu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio?

It's a bit of a low blow...

Why shouldn't you trust the animal?

'cause he's lion

Why shouldn't you listen to tumblr SJWs?

Because trans fats are bad for you.

Why shouldn't you go to Africa if your scared of robots?

Botswana kill you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you give a meth addict laxatives?

because it's already hard enough for them to keep their shit together.

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you be racist?

Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia?

Cuz you'd be snowed-in

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Why shouldn't you make abortion jokes?

It's always too soon.

Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment?

It won't get better if you picket it.

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