UPJOKE

Why Didn't Jokes

Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

why didn't 4 ask out 5?

Because 4 was 2²

Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plans?

The Jedi Code forbids attachments.

Why didn't barbie ever get pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Why didn't 4 enter the haunted house?

Because it was 2 squared

Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" -George S. Patton

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say." -George R. R. Martin

Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?

Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower before swimming?

She figured she could just wash up on shore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?

Because he fucking hates Carols.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far-out.

Why didn't they

Titan the screws on the sub?

Why didn't Adele cross the road?

She just said hello from the other side.

Why didn't nasa send a duck into space?

The bill would be astronomical.

Why didn't Luke Skywalker want to visit the Death Star?

Because he didn't want death.

(My 5 year old made this joke up and he was very proud of himself. I told him I'd post it here for cheap and easy karma)

Why didn't the pirate finish the alphabet?

He got lost at C

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?

Because X was always 10

We all know that 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why didn't 4 eat 5?

It was 2²

Why didn't the chicken like Colonel Sander's autobiography?

Because chickens can't read.

Why didn't we call them Galactic Towns instead of...

>!Universities!<

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Why didn't the Jew pay for his coffee?

Because Hebrew it himself.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

Why didn't the widow attend the 9am funeral?

She wasn't a mourning person

Why didn't Captain Nemo get any Christmas presents?

Because he was on the Nautilus...

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay upvote the picture of the lamb steak?

Because it was /r/aww

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Hitler use a taxi?

Because he was more of an Uber mensch

Why didn't the sun go to college?

It already had a million degrees.

Why didn't women play the lute in medieval times?

Because they got minstrel cramps......

Why didn't the skeleton go out on the town?

He had no body to go with.

Why didn't Anakin Skywalker become an engineer?

He couldn't get a Master's degree.

Why didn't the bike go to the car show?

Because he was two tired.

From my 5 year old last night. I thought it was funny....but i'm easy. Why didn't the Teddybear finish his dinner?

Because he was stuffed!

Why didn't the lobster give his seat to the old lady on the bus?

Because he was shellfish.

Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a mountain?

Because she was wearing mittens

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

Why didn't the phlebotomist's reports need editing?

He was typo negative.

Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed?

Because there is no spoon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Gandalf get hired at Hogwarts?

He kept telling the students,, "Thou shalt not pass."

Why didn't Indiana Jones have a Nokia phone?

Because he was too afraid of the Snake game.

Why didn't the man find the cheesy jokes funny?

He was lactose intolerant.

Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting?

Because he didn't habanero.

Why didn't Richard Nixon prepare his own food?

Because he's not a cook.

Why didn't Evangelical Wordle take off?

JESUS is always the answer.

Teacher : Why didn't you come to the school yesterday?

Student : My dad is in the hospital

1 week later..

Teacher : Is your dad still in the hospital?

Student : Yes, he is a doctor.

Why didn't Hans Solo enjoy his steak dinner?

It was "Chewy"

Why didn't John Denver ever have trouble getting a date?

Because he was a plane down to Earth guy.

Why didn't King Solomon follow through with his decree to cut the baby in half?



Because he didn't like to split heirs.

Why didn't Homer drink chardonnay?

He liked his wine *dark,* see?

Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives?

Because everyone always left them hanging!

Why didn't Mario complete his presidential term?

He got in Peach

Why didn't anyone talk to Vincent Van Gogh?

Because he only listened to half of what you said anyway.

Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn't the other?

He was a little more on.

'NSFW' Why didn't Mrs. Claus ever have kids?

Because Santa always comes down the chimney.

"Mom, why didn't you vaccinate me?"

"I didn't want you to get autism, honey."

"Thanks mom. I could have not survived having autism and polio at the same time."

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

It baaaalked, balked, balked, balked.

Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.

Why didn't the vampire atteck tayolr swift?

Because she had bad blood

Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

Why didn't the camgirl show up for work?

She wasn't feeling herself that day.

Why didn't Doc Brown cross the road?

Because where he went they don't need no roads.

On a side note, after watching that movie again I actually saw him use a banana that was rotten or whatever instead of plutonium for fuel...

Why didn't the lawyer get drunk?

>!Because he passed the bar.!<

Why didn't the prisoner stop talking?

Because he had a really long sentence.

Why didn't Barca fans eat anything this morning?

Because they 8-2 much last night.

Why didn't the sperm donor have any free time?

Because he had loads to do.

Why didn't the cow laugh at my joke?

He wasn't very amoosed because it was udderly lacking in humor, he had herd it before, it wasn't very mooving, it was cheesy and I milked the punchline a bit too much. Definitely wasn't moosic to his ears.
He still gave me a pat on the back though, which put me in a better moood.

I was at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs?

Because he didn't like poles.

Why didn't Gandalf bring hookers to Bilbo's birthday party?

Because he is not a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why didn't Alexa run for Senate?

Because she likes being Speaker of the House.

Why didn't the family visit the Louvre?

They didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Why didn't Newton discover group theory?

The reasom is because he wasn't Abel

Why didn't the anti-vaxxer wear a seatbelt?

Because they didn't want to live in fear of car accidents.

Why didn't the pirates bathe before walking the plank?

They figured they'd wash up on shore later.

Why didn't Sanders supporters vote for him on Super Tuesday?

Because they were too busy posting on Reddit

Why Didn't The Tall Guy Get Into The Graveyard?

He wasn't under six feet.

Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself?

He was already suspended.

Why didn't the underwear cross the road ?

Because it was stuck in the crack!

Why didn't the redneck purchase the universe?

Way too expansive.

Why didn't the cyclist pedal on the highway?

Because he was two tired.

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why didn't Mrs. Caveman let her husband go out by himself?

Because he was going clubbing.

Why didn't the cheese wantto get sliced?

It had grater plans

Why didn't Genghis Khan's army move when he said "Charge"?

Because none of them understand English.

Why didn't anyone want the free phone cables?

Because they were free of charge!

Why didn't Thor go to the party with his brother?

Because it was too Loki for his taste.

Why didn't The Black Pearl get cold and drafty on cold winter nights at sea?

Because pirate ships have a very high Arrrrrr value.

Why didn't the bank robbers steal the car?

Because it was too heavy and made their arms hurt.

Why didn't the email subject line go to the party?

It had no body to go with.

Why didn't the pokemon listen to classical music?

Because he was lycanroc.

Why didn't the chicken go down the slide?

He de-slided not to!!!!!

Why didn't the apple and orange get married?

Because fruit cantaloupe.

Why didn't the vegetable pay its bills?

Because it was a dead beet.

Why didn't Jeffrey Epstein high five the prison officer?

He tends to leave people hanging.

Why didn't Jesus start a charity?

Cuz they're not for prophets.

Why didn't Johnny Lawrence's sensei have any children?

Irons became so popular in the 1960s that not a single girl had a Kreese in her pants.

Why didn't the guy date the model with no legs?

He was lack toes intolerant

Why didn't R. Kelly catch Covid?

R. Kelly would have caught Covid if it were younger. But fortunately for him. Covid is 19.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Crippling depression.

Why didn't the stubborn lion have any family?

He was told to swallow his pride

Why didn't earth day affect r/jokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled

Why didn't the crusades happen overseas?

Because you can't sail a holey ship.

Why didn't the octahedron date the tetrahedron?

They were platonic solids

Why didn't the octopus fight the shark?

Because he was spineless

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus?

Because he was a Quran Teen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?

Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds fucking stupid.

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

Why didn't the Grizzly bear get a job in Sydney?

He didn't have the proper koala-fications!

Why didn't Mr. Clean's wife ever get pregnant?

He comes in a bottle.


- My grandma.

Why didn't the dolphin escape accidentally?

He did it on porpoise

Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?

His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.

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