UPJOKE

Why Couldn't Jokes

Why couldn't Superman stop the necromancer?

His powers were too weak near the crypt tonight.

why couldn't miss piggy sing?

because she had a frog in her throught.

Why couldn't the eyeglass technician do his job?

He didn't have the specs for the specs.

Why couldn't the prisoner stop talking?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

Why couldn't the horse congress get anything done?

They vote "neigh" on everything

Why couldn't the sailor play cards?

Captain on deck!

Why couldn't the Italian get into his house?

He had gnocchi

Why couldn't the Little Mermaid graduate?

Because all her grades were under the C.

A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids.

After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.

"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"

"What!?" Says the wife. "A...

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two-tired!

Why couldn't Mozart find his friend?

Because he was Haydn.

Why couldn't the alcoholic become a lawyer?

He couldn't pass the Bar.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

He had reptile disfunction.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Why couldn't the trans person learn coding?

They are non-binary!

Why couldn't the ghost get his girlfriend pregnant?

He had a hollow wiener!

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road

It got stuck in a crack

Why couldn't the hammer find a girlfriend?

I don't know, it was hitting on everything in sight.

Why couldn't the zoo reveal the name and location of its newest animal?

HIPPO compliance

Q: Why couldn't Ray Charles see his friends?

A: Because he was married.

Why couldn't Mario find his kart?

It was Toad...

Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?

She didn't know where the 11 was.

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind along with the CAT.

Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quick learner

A sexy woman went on a week-long business trip leaving her husband to take care of the house. Before she left, she told him to take special care of Mittens, her cat.
After a long exhausting flight, she checked into her hotel and then immediately called home to see if Mittens was okay…
Her hu...

Why couldn't the duck make a cake?

He couldn't quack his eggs ... hehe

Why couldn't this guy stop humping a bell?

Because it was A-dick-ting

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

Because he was too far out man...

Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal?

It was non-binary

Why couldn't the pepper do archery?

Because he didn't habanero

Why couldn't the comedian in a wheelchair get an audience?

He couldn't do Stand Up comedy!

Why couldn't Cleopatra accept Mark Anthony's death?

She was the queen of denial

Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?

She was a little horse.

Why couldn't Godzilla eat the hotel?

Because it was too suite.

Why couldn't harry potter feel the magic?

Because he was having a dry spell

Why couldn't the sailors play card games?

Because the Captain was sat on the deck

Why couldn't the Vampire get his wife pregnant?

He needs permission to come inside

Why couldn't the little bird get into the birdhouse?

...the door wouldn't budgie!

Why couldn't the hot dog impregnate the bun?

Too many condoments.

Why couldn't Professor Snape teach herbology?

He couldn't keep the Lily alive

Why couldn't the witch have babies?

Because her husband had a hollow weenie.

Why couldn't the redneck dress as a ghost for Halloween?

His daddy had already taken all the white sheets.

Lawyer

Why couldn't the lawyer drink? - Because he passed the bar.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.