My coworker keeps farting and trying to convince me that it was me who did it.
I think he's asslighting me.
It's getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it.
"It was pump #5," I replied.
Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet?
He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable.
Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter
Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “Donald Trump Sucks” written in urine across the snow.
Well, he's is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff’s HQ, and yells “Somebody wrote an insult i...
A strict submarine captain is reassigned to a new submarine...
... after a few days of laying down new rules, enforcing them strictly, and allowing the crewmen nary a minute off, he saw derogatory posters about him taped around the craft.
Calling for his first officer, he said: "First Officer, I demand that the submarine be scoured, and every one of t...
Why was the PTA meeting homicide difficult to solve?
Because it wasn't apparent who did it.
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