UPJOKE

White Van Jokes

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What’s a sex offenders favorite shoes ?

White Vans.

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A man was dragged into a white van in the middle of the street

He finds himself in an interogation room where he is being accused with treason, and he must tell on his accomplices. The man is definitely innocent. After a few hours the investigators bring this big Russian guy , Igor, and tell him to go down to the basement and fuck the guy in the ass until he co...

I saw a little Mexican kid get dragged into a white van

Talk about Alien Vs Predator

Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from?

I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez.

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What kind of shoes do paedophiles wear?

White vans

What's an abductor's favorite kind of shoe?

Unmarked, white Vans

What is the preferred footwear of pedos?

White Vans

It’s funny how random songs just pop into your head sometimes. For example I saw the same full size white van driving around the neighborhood a couple times today and I automatically started singing

“It’s Mr. Steal Your Girl.”

A man walks into an art museum...

...saunters past a guard and rips a painting off the wall with his bare hands. The guards attempt to stop him as he runs out of the museum, but he is too quick and acrobatic and evades all of their efforts. Just out the museum doors, he hops into the back of a white van that begins speeding away wit...

Solar Panels.

Do you have solar panels on your home yet? I just had some put on. But I’m not sure if I’ll keep them.

The other day I was in my house and the computer and lights are flickering. So I did, what you would do, I went outside to check my new solar cells. I get get outside and look up at the roof...

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A man hears a thumping on his roof, goes outside to look and she's a guerilla on his roof

He calls animal control and says he has a gorilla on his roof. They say they have just the guy for the job and he'll be over in half an hour. After half an hour, a white van pulls up to the house. A man steps out with a ladder, a bat, a net, a shotgun, and a rottweiler.

"So how are you gonna ...

A man receives a phone call late in the evening...

He picks up the phone and there is a strange voice at the other end. The voice says “I am the Vinder Viper, and I am coming in one year” he writes the call off as a prank.

But in six months, he gets another call. It says the same thing, “I am the Vinder Viper, and I am coming in six months”. ...

An American and a Russian are talking about cars...

The American goes "When I feel happy, I drive a red Camaro. When I feel down, I drive a black Mustang. And for trips abroad, my choice is an orange Cadillac." The Russian responds "When I don't feel so good, I ride a white van with red stripes (ambulance). When I feel waaaayyyyy too happy, I ride a ...

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How I would kidnap pedophiles.

Have a white van advertisting free kids.

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My jewish friend wont talk to me anymore.

So my friend was looking to rent a van to help his family members get around during his family reunion and he invited me along.

we came across this big white van with a few rows of seats in the back and he said "how many of my family members do uou think I can fit in here?"

I look arou...

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The Welder's Mask

A little boy is walking down the sidewalk one day when he finds a welder's mask lying on the ground by the road. Because he is bored and curious, he picks up the mask and puts it on. Just then a large, dirty white van drives up and a middle-aged man with greasy hair and a trimmed mustache leans out ...

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A young boy is walking home

A young boy is walking home one way when he finds a welder's mask on the ground. He picks it up, puts it on, and fiddles with it, flipping the visor open and closed. Right then a white van pulls up next to him and a strange man tells him he'll give the boy a ride.

The boy gets in and the man ...

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