Why did the president put his vegetables in a blender?

He was hoping for whirled peas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dusty Hill Blinked his eye open.

His head felt fuzzy. His eyes sticky. Dusty Hill Blinked his eyes open. "Wake up Dusty" said a familiar voice. His eyes focused, his brain whirled. It couldn't be who it seemed to be. Jimi mother fucking hendrix?

.

"Wake up Dusty. It's showtime!" Said the coolest voice ev...

The Attorney's Wife

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, “What time of night to...

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

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Karma

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I gave my girlfriend a titty twister that ruined her bra...

Now whose tired of hearing about the whirled cup?

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

Doctor Machine

A man was reading the news paper when he saw an add for a machine that can diagnose anything just by analyzing a vial of pee. His curiosity piqued, the man brought a vial of pee downtown and found the machine, which looked something like an ATM.

After inserting $20 and the vial of pee, the ma...

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