UPJOKE

What Would You Call Jokes

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What would you call Mike Tyson if he was a villain in Star Wars?

A Tit Lord

If Major Tom flies really high up, what would you call someone very deep beneath the ground?

Miner Tom

What would you call an ex-muslim turned communist?

Infidel Castro

What would you call it if Mel Gibson apologizes to the Jewish people?

Melatonin

What would you call a parent who is always worried about their kids?

Parentoid

What would you call it when a bald man finally removes his ponytail?

A hipsterectomy.

What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil?

The American Healthcare System

[NSFW] What would you call Dwayne Johnsons boyfriend?

Rock bottom.

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A: A speech impediment.

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

If an octopus is called an octopus because of its eight limbs, what would you call an octopus with only seven limbs?

An amputee.

What would you call a potion brewing pig in the desert?

A ham sand witch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call Phoenix Wright if he were asexual?

An Ace Attorney.

What would you call Spider-man if he was a Greek who was into free running, had a debilitating disease and was backing up two cars?

Pita Parkour Parker with Parkinson’s parallel parking a Pontiac pulling a pick up truck.

What would you call Spider-man if he was a Greek who was into free running, had a debilitating disease and was backing up two cars, while making rice?

Uncle Ben

What would you call Cyborg if he was Mexican?

Cyborge.

What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team?

The High Five

What would you call a super successful poultry farmer?

Chick magnate

What would you call Isaac Newton if he were a dog?

Isaac Snooton

What would you call a show if it was Bridgerton but everyone was out of shape?

Downton Flabby

What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker?

Dolby.

What would you call if spiderman starts jumping around buildings instead of swinging using his spider webs?

Peter Parkour

What would you call a child born to bi-parents?

A byproduct.

What would you call Dr Frankenstein if he were made of fruit

A peach cobbler!

What would you call a horror movie set in a post-gasoline world?

The Silence of The Lambos

What would you call a test for your dad?

Pop quiz

What would you call a woman who actively encourages her husband to sleep with her friends?

Sharon Cox

What would you call stolen stomach medicine?

Klepto Bismol

What would you call ISIS after they've been eliminated?

WASWAS.

What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid

Quentin Quarantino.

What would you call an extreme case of gonorrhea?

Thunderclap

What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?

Kim Chi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What would you call Oedipus if he was a donkey?

A dumbass motherfucker

What would you call a Texas robot?

Tex Mechs.

What would you call a russian wedding?

Soviet Union

What would you call the Bermuda Triangle if it had four edges?

The Bermuda wreck tangle

What would you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you have protected sex for 365 days straight, then melt the condoms down and mold a tire from them, what would you call it?

A Fucking GoodYear.

What would you call a Muscular Arab?

A Protein Sheikh

What would you call a war between Area 51 and the Catholic Church?

Alien vs Predator

What would you call your Tesla car if it got stolen?

"Edison"

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

What would you call a rapper named T-Cell?

A natural killer!

What would you call a doctor on call?

Q: What do you call a doctor on call?
A: An oncologist

Sorry if this joke gave you cancer xD

What would you call an alligator wearing a vest ?

An investigator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what would you call it when holmes and watson have sex?

they would be in a holmosexual relationship

What would you call a graduated penny?

Pennywise.

What would you call a question about radioactivity?

A marie query.

What would you call a domestic worker in China?

Maid in China.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call a donkeys grave?

An asshole.

What would you call a chicken taking a bath?

Chicken shwarma.

What would you call a communist vegetable that makes you cry?

a soviet onion

What would you call a gong that honks every time you hit?

Honk Gong

What would you call Captain Planet if he fought ghosts instead of eco-terrorists?

Captain Planchette.

What would you call a jamaican proctologist?

Pokemon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call a sexy kabab?

Erotikka

What would you call Popeye The sailor man if he was a camera man?

Popeye DSLR Man

What would you call the American Dream if he had an old electric piano?

Dusty Rhodes with a dusty Rhodes.

What would you call a movie staring Jake Paul and a Psychopath?

Dumb and Dahmer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call hitler if he lit up?

The illumi-nazi

What would you call a terrible piece of gold?

Absolutely Auful!

What would you call Jesus if he was a meth head

The methiah

What would you call a jury that takes risk?

Juris-imprudence

What would you call it when two trees get married?

Holy Matreemony or Woodlock?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call a “cock-block” in Canada?

a beaver dam

What would you call an insect version of a furry?

Creepy

What would you call it if SpongeBob ran for governer?

A goobernatorial election.

What would you call the Qur’an if it were a novel?

The Qur’anicles of Mohammad

If Adam Sandler was an informant for the CIA, what would you call his case officer?

Adam's handler

What would you call Bigfoot if he were female?

Snatchsquatch.

What would you call a Jewish, Reggae Artist, and a Gangster?

Jew-Mon-G

What would you call anti virus software run by tweakers?

S'norton

What would you call a green Pikachu?

Pickle-chu

What would you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs?

Spider

What would you call a North Korean news channel?

The Medium.

What would you call a Darth Vader statue?

Mannequin Skywalker.

What would you call a poem written in the honour of a Mathematician?

dy/dx - 3x = 2

What's this?

An ODE (Ordinary Differential Equation)

What would you call a cat which can compose musical pieces?

**Debussy Cat**

What would you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

What would you call Australia if it were only colonized by men?

A penile colony.

What would you call a camel that has no hump?

Humphrey.

What would you call Laura Croft if she worked at Planned Parenthood?

Womb Raider

What would you call an addendum to burglary laws that would state that it's legal to break and enter into someone's house, provided you leave them with a gift?

The Santa clause

What would you call a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback?

45 cents

An oldie but a goodie

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

What would you call Osama bin Laden if he became a pirate?

Sandy Hook.

What would you call a potato that has gone to the Dark Side?

Vader-tots

What would you call someone called Dora who used to be a flower?

Dora the exflora.

What would you call Martin Luther king Jr if he was white?

Alive.

What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force?

ISITH

What would you call an Al Gore dance video?

Al Gore rhythms

If I glued dollar bills to my sneakers, what would you call them?

Cashews

What would you call your geologist friend if you are a pokemon fan?

Geodude

What would you call the tiki torch brigade in Charlottesville if they formed a band?

Vanilla Isis

What would you call a Chinese based arm of Isis?

Ricesis

What would you call Macaulay Culkin if he was black?

Homie alone

What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm?

Magento

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call Daenerys Targaryen if she had a vaginal infection?

Khalyeasty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it?

A Butterfly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call a social media marketing genius?

Masterbaiter

What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska?

Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)

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