UPJOKE

What Time Is It Jokes

‘What time is it?’

‘Dunno. Pass me that trombone and I’ll find out.’

*plays trombone loudly*

Someone shouts: ‘WHO’S THAT PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT 2AM?’

A blonde calls out to a man on the street: “Excuse me, what time is it now?”

“It is 4:35.”
“That is strange.”
“What is?”
“Every time I ask this question, different people give me different answers.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What time is it ?

I took my 13-year-old son with me to a large charity barbecue. A few thousand people there and several different rib joints you can sample. It was awesome, the food was fantastic.

There was also a large beer tent that had a band with many people in it. Band was pretty good the music while peo...

What time is it?

After a long and tiring drive throughout the night, the driver decides to pull over on the side of the road to take a nap.

A man knocks on the car's window and this wakes the driver from his sleep. The man asks the driver what time it is. The driver looks at his watch and replies, "It's 8 AM...

ME: Siri, what time is it?

ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?

ME:...

ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

What time is it?

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

When an elephant is sitting on your fence, what time is it?

Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when you see cows sleeping in a field?

Pasture bedtime

If twenty dogs are chasing one dog, what time is it?

20 after 1

What time is it?

In some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The ai...

Person: What time is it?

Cat: Meow

Person: MEOW'S NOT THE TIME

Me: what time is it?

Tour Guide: 4:20

Me: how can you tell?

Tour Guide: See how high the sun is?

\[sun is eating spaghettiOs with a spatula\]

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to fix the clock.

What time is it when you go to the dentist ?

Tooth Hurty

What time is it when you see sixteen dogs running down the street?

Fifteen after one.

What time is it in Brazil?

Oh, it's 7 past Cesar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What time is it when your fighting rooster wins its first match?

1-0'cock

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One friends asks the other one what time is it

Hey john, what time is it?

Oh I don’t know .. get me that trombone and we will see


He blows really hard and someone screams


WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING TROMBONE AT 2 IN THE MORNING ??

What time is it after you've eaten a dozen eggs?

8:12

One social worker asks another "What time is it?"

The second replies, "I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."

The first says, "That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."

Have you heard this one? When a stranger asks you, "What time is it?" Say, "Ten to..."

"Ten to what?" they usually query.

"Tend to your own damn business," then walk off.

Sean Connery is standing at your door, wearing white shorts and a white shirt and holding a racket. What time is it?

Tennish.

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