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What Is Jokes

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American

What is a Pirate's favorite letter?

The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.



Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind .

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Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

Mommy, what is a Canadian?

Citizen of Canada. Get it?

What is 6.9?

A good thing ruined by a period.

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

Teacher: What is 117 + 3?

Johny: 5!

Teacher: Correct..

Professor X is talking to a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
...

Genie: you have 3 wishes. What is your first?

Guy: I wish for more wishes

Genie: you can wish for anything but more wishes

Guy: damn. I wish I could

what is Amber Heard's favorite board game?

**SCATAGORIE**

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What is a white nationalists favourite porn site ?

Only Klans

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.



Sincerely,



The Internet Provider

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What is a profession that begins with “P”, is often criticised, and is known for fucking people and taking their money?

Politician.

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What is the sentence you can say after funeral and after sex?

She didn't suffer for too long,

What is Ronald McDonald's approach to dating?

Court her. Pound her.

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What is the difference between a Prostitute, a Mistress, and a Wife?

The Prostitute says, “Are you finished yet?”


The Mistress says, “You're not done already, are you?”


The Wife says, “Beige… I think I’ll paint the ceiling Beige.”

What is the best “safe word”?

Meatloaf, because I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.

What is the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard.

If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper.

What is Forrest Gump password

1forrest1

What is the difference between Russia and reality?

Trump had connections with Russia.

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"What is your name, son?

A student visits the principal's office. The principal asks: "What is your name, son?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." Then the principal asks: "Oh, do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."

What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

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[NSFW] What is the difference between a circus and a stripper club?

One is an array of cunning stunts . . .

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what is the female version of rock out with your cock out?

Jam out with your clam out.

What is the difference between Politicians and Flying Pigs ?

The letter f

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What is a penis?

There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mom calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and asks him, "What ...

What is the best name for an abortion clinic?

Don’t Kid Yourself.

What is your favorite Norm Macdonald joke/lune

"You,re the first defensive player ever to win the Heisman trophy, and no one can take that away from you."


"....Unless, of course, you kill your wife and a waiter"

If you see your joke, by all means comment, but don't repeat it, find another -he has thousands and thousands - I ...

What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall

What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

College

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the difference between Washington, Nixon and Trump?

George Washington couldn’t tell a lie.

Richard Nixon couldn’t tell the truth.

Donald Trump can’t tell the difference

What is the best male contraceptive?

An empty wallet.

What is the most confusing day in Alabama?

Fathers Day.

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What is the difference between Ajit Pai and Hitler?

Hitler was doing what he thought was best for his country.

Edit: I'm getting a lot of comments that the comparison is very inaccurate and Hitler was much worse than Pai. To those people, I invite you to check which sub you are currently on. The results will shock you!

Edit 2: Wow so...

What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?

Boo tea.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old)

What is the difference between iron man and aluminium man ?

Iron man stops the bad guys, aluminium man just foils their plans.

What is the capital of Greece?

About 10 dollars.

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools

What is the most dangerous position in chess?

C4

A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"

-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.

-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!

-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.

-- Oh, okay!

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Only takes one nail to hang the picture.

What is Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking.

…

j/k…rolling.

What is the most dangerous type of canoes?

Volcanoes

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What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?

Donald Trump's tie.

What is the name of that restaurant?

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. . . I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man...

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?

In a capitalist society, man exploits man and in a socialist one, it's the other way around.

What is the difference between Americans and the British?

Americans think 200 years is a long history, while the British think 200 miles is a long trip.

What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic?

The control group.

Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this...

What is the fastest way to become sober?

Touching your pockets and not feeling your phone.

What is the difference between Americans and IT support?

Americans don't have troubleshooting.

What is considered the polite way to end an orgy?

Thank everyone for coming!

What is one catch phrase that a condom manufacturing company should never use?

Tried and Tested!

What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!

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A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, ...

What is the best or funniest insult you have ever heard or said to someone?

A buddy told a horse-faced girl at the bar after she wouldn't stop trying to pick him up: "you look like you want to nuzzle a sugarcube out of my hand"

What is Donald Trump's favourite nation?

Discrimination

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

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What is the difference between your dick and your jokes?

No one laughing at your jokes.

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What is Hitler's favorite Videogame ?

***Mein Kraft***

What is pirate's favourite letter?

Letter of marque.

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What is the similarity between a bank and sex?

In both cases, you lose interest after a withdrawal.

What is a pdf file

And why is my uncle under arrest for being one

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What is it called when you buy prostitutes in bulk?

Holesale

What is the German word for a bra?

stoppenfromfloppen

What is communism?

- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example...

What is blue and not very heavy?

Light Blue

What is the hardest thing to chew while eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair

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What is the heroin equivalent of "Whiskey Dick"?

Poppycock.

What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?

At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.


At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed....

What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?

The hippie girl gets stoned before sex.

Teacher: ”what is 4+2?”

Johnny: ”3!”

Teacher: ”Yes, you are right.”

What is the definition of trust?

Two cannibals having a 69.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What is 500ft wide and has no pubic hair?

What is 500 ft wide and has no pubic hair?


The first row of a Justin Bieber concert.

A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?"

The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."

The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!"

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs

What is the difference between Kevin McCarthy and a newborn baby?

In a few months, the baby will be a speaker.

What is great in the US but awful in the UK?

Losing pounds

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[NSFW/Slightly Offensive] What is the best thing about having sex with a Transvestite?

Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

*This is my first post here, and I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. I heard this joke in a pub in central Australia and found it way to funny.*

What is E.T. short for?

So he can fit on a spaceship.

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign Language

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What is Democracy? A boy is asked at school as homework.

So the little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is democracy?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalist. Your Mom spends the money, so we'll call her the Government. Nanny is working at home for money, she's the w...

What is another name for a gynocoloist ?

A private investigator.

What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking utensil?

A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok

What is something that feels british but isn’t?

The contents of the British Museum.

What is Goofy’s favorite brand of shoes?

Hyuck Taylors

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

A fart.


*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*

What is difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What is faster than a calculator?

A Calcu-now.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's preferred seating in airplanes?

Aisle B, back

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There is nothing worse than a doctors receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of patients



I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dic...

what is the best thing about dead baby jokes?

they never get old

What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.

What is the difference between Clinton and Putin?

Putin can win a rigged election.

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

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What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What is another name for a cow's fart?

Dairy air from a derriere.

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Jane had developed a certain attraction to Tarzan. So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know what is sex" he replied. Jane then explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ...."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Stunned by his response, Jane said: "Tarzan you have it all wrong, you don't shag a tree to get yourself off. Tell you what, I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing, got completely naked and laid down on...

What is Karen's favorite drink?

White whine

What is Donald Trump’s Spy Name?

Agent Orange!

What is Indiana Jones' least favorite band?

Rolling Stones.

What is the square root of 69?

8 something

What is a pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest and no booty.

What is the worst thing you can say when someone points a gun at you?

Oh, Shoot!

What is the difference between a job and a wife?

10 years later the job still sucks.

What is Mitch McConnell's favorite movie?

Frozen.

Genie: What is your final wish?

Boy: I wish I were you!


Genue: Weurd but alrught.

"What is a tragedy?", asks Trump.

During one of his campaign trips Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks th...

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2?

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition...

what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An electron.

If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

What is a terrible name for a dog.

Yes. Yes it is.

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My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is sex?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe ...

What is a Bear with no teeth called?

A gummy bear...

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but never uses. Donald Trump has one and uses it. What is it?

A surname/last name

What is the difference between a dollar and a ruble ?

A dollar.

What is the one thing Spiderman can't eat?

Uncle Bens rice.

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Son asked his dad “Dad, what is an alcoholic?”

Dad replied “You see those four trees over there? Well an alcoholic would see eight.”

“Dad, I only see two trees”

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

What is black and white and red all over?

At this point, the shorter list would be "what *isn't* black and white and red all over".

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What is Whitney Houston's favorite porn?

HENTAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII

What is the most mediocre state?

OK

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