UPJOKE

If a pro lifer asks "What if Mary aborted Jesus"?

Replying "it would have sped things along" isn't the answer they were looking for.
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What if trees had breasts?

It wood be nice, wooden tit.

So what if I canโ€™t spell Armmagedon?

Itโ€™s not the end of the world.
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So what if I don't know what "apocalypse" means.

It's not like it's the end of the world
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What if the helium goes to the bar?

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve nobles here." Helium does not react.
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What if the real reason aliens don't visit us is because...

...we're a one star planet?
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What I if told you

What if I told you you read the title wrong
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"What if women ruled the world?"

"They do, do you know what a wife is?"
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What if God appeared on Twitter

And said 'It's pronounced Jod'

Then went offline

?
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What if...

What if you were being held at gunpoint by a literate animal (bear with me), and your only hope of escaping (BEAR WITH ME) was by posting a coded message
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What if Darth Vader were Dutch?

"Luke, I am your vader."
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What if the last words of the bible were

"... you had to be there."
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What if you run around a tree with the speed of light?

You can fuck yourself

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Son: Dad, what if one day all the women disappeared?

Dad: That's gonna be a pain in the ass.

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
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What if the Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight?

It would be a Mass confusion
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