UPJOKE

What Do You Call It Jokes

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What do you call it when a group of people masturbates together?

Massturbation

What do you call it when a sixty year old man suddenly starts reading the Bible?

Cramming for finals.

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What do you call it when you sit on a French baguette?

A pain in the ass.

What do you call it when a guy is going down on a girl and suddenly stops?

McConnellingus.

What do you call it when a banana eats another banana?

Canabananalism

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What do you call it when Albert Einstein masturbates?

A stroke of genius.

What do you call it when cats rebel?

Mew-tiny!

What do you call it when batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

What do you call it when there is no Internet in Russia?

Internyet.

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What do you call it when you can’t ejaculate?

Troubleshooting.

What do you call it when a hen looks at a lettuce?

A Chicken Caesar Salad

What do you call it when you get turned on by a journalist?

Wet from the press

What do you call it when a Jamaican chef cooks Hawaiian food?

Poké, mon!

What do you call it when two christians have a baby together?

Cross breeding

What do you call it when lemons and limes tell lies?

Pulp fiction!

What do you call it when a group of cheeses start fighting?

A fromage fray.

What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colours anymore?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when a white person robs you?

Capitalism.

What do you call it when a russians wifi fails?

Internyet

What do you call it when Al Gore dances?

An algorithm

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What do you call it when you get your dick stuck in an Apple product?

A Steve Job

What do you call it when someone kills a chickpea?

Hummus-cide.

What do you call it when a French person goes to the gym?

ResistOnce training

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What do you call it when a carpenter takes viagra?

Wood working

What do you call it when a Pharaoh asks you for money to build a monument?

A pyramid scheme.

What do you call it when a leprechaun gives you a handjob?

A stroke of luck.

What do you call it when everyone spins round once?

A communist revolution.

What do you call it when a flatbread speaks gibberish?

Naansense!

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What do you call it when John Fogerty has oral sex with a mortician?

Down on the Coroner.

What do you call it when a nun sins regularly?

Bad habits

What do you call it when you drop your waffle on the beach of SoCal?

Sandy eggo

What do you call it when your clock goes up and down in waves

A sine of the times

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What do you call it when you put arsenic in the coffee can at work?

Grounds for termination.

What do you call it when you find a nose just by itself, with no victim to be found?

No-body nose (sound it out)

What do you call it when someone murders their friend?

Homie cide

What do you call it what a hooker farts?

a prosti-toot

What do you call it when a snake gets tangled up?

A reptile disfunction

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What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....

A fibbin' Nazi sequence

What do you call it when you accidentally open the men’s dressing room door?

Pico de gallo.

>!like peek-o de guy-o!<

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What do you call it...

What do you call it when you got nuts on the wall? - Wallnuts

What do you call it when you got nuts on the chest? - Chestnuts

What do you call it when you got nuts on your chin?









A dick in your mouth!

What do you call it when a musical spider regrows a limb quickly?

Allegro.

What do you call it when you stab a Snickers at Midnight

A Snackrifice

What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand?

A microwave.

*A joke my son told me* - What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A Cat-Has-Trophey!

What do you call it when two Vietnamese people are successful?

A Nguyen Nguyen situation

What do you call it when a Necromancer has issues raising the dead?

Resurrectile Disfunction!

What do you call it when a Doctor gives themself stitches?

Suture self!

What do you call it when data goes on a difficult car journey?

A hard drive

What do you call it when you’re shopping for new eyebrows?

Browsing.

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What do you call it when someone falls in love with the first porn they found?

Love at first site.

What do you call it when two cephalopods do favors for each other?

Squid Pro Quo.

What do you call it when a rattlesnake can't make the rattle noises anymore?

reptile-dysfunction

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What do you call it when a woman sucks on the balls of a crazy person?

A nut job

What do you call it when you can’t find your buried treasure 3.14 times and are furious about it

Being pi-irate

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What do you call it when a worm catcalls another worm?

Asexual harassment.

What do you call it when you let your opponent attack both your king and queen in chess?

A royal fork-up

What do you call it when something goes wrong on a large boat?

A shipshow.

What do you call it when a fat guys loses his patience?

Losing wait :)

What do you call it when you linger too often at a Tibetan sandwich shop?

A daily dilli-dallie at the Dalai Deli.

I’ll show myself out now.

What do you call it?

What do you call it when pregnant women get really dramatic and start making up a bunch of 'what - if' scenarios?


Ovary acting! (I'll see myself out...)

What Do You Call It When You Make a Seasoning Mistake?

An oregano-no

What do you call it when someone makes you an impressive and expensive feast without asking your permission first?

Pre-sumptuous.

What do you call it when someone's working on an erotic novel and gets writer's block?

Textual frustration.

What do you call it when an electron cheats?

A current affair!

What do you call it when two flowers have a child?

Plant parenthood.

What do you call it when a group of Pacific Islanders forget things?

Poly-amnesia

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a guy gets murdered during sex?

Die Hard

What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes?

A pundemic

What do you call it when you get slapped by a blacksmith?

Will power

What do you call it when two actors are spying on each other?

thespianage

What do you call it when you sell Phlegm at a pawn shop?

Hawking a loogie

What do you call it when Batman gets hurt?

Bruised Wayne

What do you call it when a redneck dies and is reborn?

Reintarnation

What do you call it when a zombie steals an idea

Plaguegiarism

Jesus Christ dafuq is wrong with me

What do you call it when God decides a woman will miscarry?

Divine Plan B

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when Adam and Eve have sex?

A gentle ribbing

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What do you call it when someone's racist against obtuse Jews?

Anti-symmetric.

What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuation?

A medically induced comma.

What do you call it when a tap dancing mare signals for help?

Horse code

What do you call it when an emo gets over trauma?

They cut themselves some slack

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you sexually tease a women who doesn’t shave?

Beating around the bush.

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

What do you call it when two insect siblings that get together?

An insectuous relationship

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when someone shits themself as a joke?

Self deficating humor.

What do you call it when someone notices your fart?

An “ass-toot” observation

What do you call it when the Air Force tries to convince UFO witnesses they saw natural phenomenon?

Swampgaslighting

What do you call it when you're in love with trump?

Having an orange crush

What do you call it when a government official assassinates a citizen?

A Car Crash

What do you call it when a girl throws a tantrum during her period?

An ovary-action.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a bull masturbates?

Beef Jerky!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you can no longer masturbate?

Easy cum, easy go...

What do you call it when a shark is sassy?

Sharkasm

What do you call it when one artillery projectile eats another of the same type?

Cannonballism

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you get a mysterious STD on your dick?

A real head scratcher

What do you call it when someone inhaled cheese?

Brie-thing

What Do You Call It When Someone Only Bakes Pastries?

A bread schtick

What do you call it when a cow pleasures himself?

Some say MOOsterbation, but I’ve always been partial to Beef Strokinoff.

What do you call it when you mistake a flashlight for a flesh light?

A flash bang

What do you call it when you have snakes in your pants?

E-Reptile Dysfunction

what do you call it when someone is being forced to drink a lot of wine?

Water Bordeauxed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a ghost cums?

An ectogasm.

What do you call it when a ghost farts?

It passed ghast

If two loaves of bread are lovers, and one stays outside too long, what do you call it?

A stalemate.

What do you call it when a singer gets a chance?

An opera-tunity!

What do you call it when some dead cows smoke weed and play poker?

High steaks

What do you call it when Russian dentists and painters unite?

The Brushin’ Federation

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

What do you call it when a cannibal throws a baby?

A food fight!

What do you call it when an Asian country tries to conquer another one?

An invasian.

What Do You Call It When One Alligator Steals Another Alligator’s Girl?

Croc blocking

what do you call it when a woman finally admits she was wrong?

Men applause

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