UPJOKE

What's Better Jokes

What's better than enchiladas?

n+1 chiladas.

(sharing this joke I came up with tonight while making enchiladas, because my family didn't find it funny).

What's better than licking a Mandarin?

Licking Amanda out.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ

What's better than a step-rooster named Steve?

A step-hen named Stephen

What's better than watching a woman wrestle?

Seeing her box.

What's better than being able to use disabled parking spots?

Legs

What's better than a Gold medal at the Paralympics

Two legs

A bodybuilder asked his doctor: "what's better, whey protein, or pea protein?"

"Weigh protein, of course!" replied the doctor. "For one thing, weighing protein isn't a potential sign of kidney failure."

You know what's better than Tennessee?

Elevennessee.

What's better than Ted Danson?

Ted singin and dancin.

What's better than a good, cheesy joke?

A grated cheesy joke !

What's better than a tuna sandwich?

A three-na sandwich

What's better than winning the lottery?

Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.

Whats better?

What's better than a nail in the wall?







A screw on the floor...

What's better than a paradox?

A pair of nurses

What's better than 69?

77 cuz you get 8 more

(Shamelessly stolen from Redd Foxx)

What's better? Original content or a repost?

A repost.

Why?

Because nothing is better than original content but a repost is better than nothing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's better than being up to your ankles in whiskey?

Being up to your balls in cider!

What's better than a thousand dead babies stapled to a tree?

One dead baby stapled to a thousand trees.

What's better than Roses on your Piano?

Tulips on your Organ!

This one is courtesy of my girlfriend, who is a classically trained pianist and organist.

What's better than /r/jokes?

the comments in /r/jokes

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on my organ


My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long

What's better than stretching your ear lobe to 3 inches?

A job

John and Peter talk about what's better

Peter: If it were to happen, would you want to have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?

John: Parkinson's, of course.

Peter: Why is that?

John: I'd rather spill some wiskey than forget where I put the bottle.

What's better than a tall woman wrapping her legs around you?

A short woman trying like hell.

Do you know what's better than Alan one-dick?

Alan Tu-dyk...

(*bah-dum-tish*)

What's better than the mile high club?

SpaceX

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

What's better; Jesus, or a picture of Jesus?

A picture of Jesus. It only takes 1 nail to hang up.

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