UPJOKE

Well Respected Jokes

My pharmacist is very well respected...

she's a real piller of the community.

Joe is hiring a hitman from a well respected mafioso to kill his business partner.

The man asks, "How do I know you won't just let him pay you twice as much, and then kill me?"
The mob boss leans back and says, "Well Joe, you can always get the insurance policy."

"Insurance policy?"

"Yeah. For five times the fee I absolutely guarantee that the other guy can no lon...

Little Tony was the son of a well respected Mob boss.

One day, the Mob boss decides he wants to test his son to see if the boy has what it takes to lead the family business. "Little Tony," he asks. "If you received stolen money, and you were looking for a place to hide it, where would you stash it so the cops could never get it?"

Little Tony thi...

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Why was the flat-chested college senior so well respected?

Because she was the head of the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee.
(their influence and power knows no mounds)

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Donald Trump gets on a train with 3 well respected leaders of carious countries.

The French President, the Columbian President, the Mexican President, and an American named Donald Trump are riding in a train discussing their country's futures. Trying to out do each other, the Columbian President takes out a kilo of 100% pure Cocaine gets a tiny spoon full, takes a sniff and thro...

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.

As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

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The Great Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jews, so the Pope agreed to debate with a member of their community. If the Jew won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

Knowing they had no ...

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An old lady walks into a bank with a million dollars.

Old lady: "I'd like to make a deposit of a million dollars"

Bank assistant:, "That's a lot of money. How did you get them?"

Old lady: "I think I should speak to the managing bank director since it's such a large cash deposit."

Bank assistant: "Well considering that it is a milli...

Punjabi joke translated to the best of my abilities.

There’s a guy that lives in a village that is rich but illiterate. So, one day his friend whose well educated visits him and in conversation tells him that he should get an education. The guy’s like why?
The friend replies:”It makes you wise.”
The guy says:”How?”
The friends asks him:”Well ...

I’ve had all my wealth , my reputation and my true passion stolen from me.

I’m now debt free, reasonably well respected and very short on stamps.

What do you call a black guy on the moon

A well respected astronaut

Nate the Snake (Long)

There once was an island in the middle of the ocean, shaped somewhat like a dog bone, with two populated ends separated by a long narrow strip of land with a highway connecting the two ends of the island.

Oddly enough, the entire island was held up from sinking into the ocean by a big lever,...

A taste of Russian humor

Ivan had worked at the wheelbarrow factory for as long as anyone could remember, and the day of his retirement had finally arrived. He was well respected and even liked by all his coworkers, and his boss wanted to give him his last farewell at the end of his last day while he was walking out, so he...

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Freddie died in a fire

Freddie was a well respected member of his community, however his two best friends James and Thomas were a lot more boisterous and seen as a bit dim witted amongst the neighbourhood. One night Freddie's house catches on fire and Freddie is engulfed in the flames.

The next day a police office...

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