UPJOKE

Well Groomed Jokes

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A very elderly gentleman,mid ninety's,very well dressed, hair well groomed,great suit,flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good aftershave,presenting a well looked after image,walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly lady,mid eighties.

The gentleman walks over,sits along side of her,orders a drink,takes a sip,turns to her and says"So tell me do I come here often?"

Following the death of Queen Elizabeth, Prince Andrew has been given the role of looking after the corgis.

At least they will be well groomed.

In romance, I'm like a wild stallion

I'm not well groomed, look somewhat malnourished, don't want anyone to ride me, am threatened by eye contact, and if approached I'm likely to run away before anyone's close enough to touch me.

Making a living of 3-second tunes

Two old friends, both graduates of a musical academy, meet after years of no talk. One has a super expensive suit, a posh watch and looks well groomed. The other looks much older, and is wearing shabby clothes.

\--How are you, buddy? – asks the one better off.

\--Oh, not bad. Just fini...

Bad Dog

One winter day, a guy was walking down the street when he saw a mangy old dog lying in the middle of the sidewalk. It was covered in flies and seemed to be barely alive. Rather than try to help it, the guy gave it a sharp kick and laughed as it limped away.

Without warning, the guy became a s...

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All drinks on me

Jeff, a well dressed well groomed guy, walks in a packed pub, sits at the bar and started to chat and socialise with the barman who happens to own the place.
An hour and many drinks later, Jeff asks for a round of shots for everybody in the place, since it's a celebration.
He does this three...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The World's Most Hardcore Biker

The world's most hardcore biker walks in to a bar while he's riding his bike across the country. He's wearing his ratty jeans, combat boots and his ragged leather vest showing off all his less than legal achievements. As he walks in, all eyes in the building fall upon him, his very stride exuding ma...

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