UPJOKE

What do you call a potato wearing glasses?

A spectator.

Police stops a man and says, "You're supposed to be wearing glasses"

Man: I have contacts.

Policeman: I don't give a damn who you know.

What happened to the pirate who started wearing glasses?

People started calling him "Three Eyes."

To the young people on Reddit, have some respect for old people wearing glasses.

They..paid money to see you.

I'm a programmer, wearing glasses

They are made to C#.

You know, I’ve been wearing glasses for so long…

It’s hard to see myself without them

I saw a guy wearing glasses indoors.

He looked a little shady.

Why was the iPhone wearing glasses?

It lost all its contacts.





Part of my WFH agreement is that I have to check in with my Director (I'm IT PM) every day, so rather than just saying "morning - I'm on!" I am sending her a silly IT joke :D Any good suggestions?

I was walking down the street wearing glasses

When the prescription ran out.

Hey! How about that? I have good news for people wearing glasses!

Next year you'll be finally able to see 2020.

When I was younger I thought wearing glasses meant you were smarter than everyone else...

...now I realize those are the people who would get killed in the wild.

"Tom, why did you stop wearing glasses right before we started dating?"

"It made both of us look better!"

An old man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"

Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!


"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.

What do you call a white person wearing glasses while playing Yu-Gi-Oh?

Four eyes white dragon.

^sorry if repost, thought of this myself.

Why do you never see parents wearing glasses on the eyes on the back of their head?

Because they're hindsight is 20/20.

3 blondes walk into a police station...

And we're looking for jobs as detectives.

They meet with the police chief who says, "I'm going to show you a side mugshot of a man and you need to tell me something interesting about him."

He shows the picture to the first blonde and she says, "He's only got one eye". The police chief...

A policeman stoped me today and asked for my license.

He said: “It says here that you should be wearing glasses."

I said: “Well, I have contacts."

The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

The police officer inspected my drivers license carefully.

"Driver, I see you have a class 3 license that requires you to wear glasses whilst driving. I can't help but notice you are not wearing glasses."
"I've got contacts," I explained.
"I don't care who you know, driver," declared the officer. "You're under arrest."

:-P

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