How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?
Ask them who won the election.
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask !!!
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!
I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask.
She said, "this is a coughy filter"
What do you call a martini wearing a mask?
A Quarentini
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man bursts into a sperm bank, wearing a mask and weilding a gun.
He goes to the woman behind the counter, puts the gun in her face and screams "OPEN THE VAULT!" She timidly stammers, "Sir, this is a sperm bank. There's no money..." He cocks the gun and screams, "I SAID OPEN IT!!!" She reluctantly leads him to the big freezer, "see" she says, "it's just test tubes...
A big nose isn't an excuse for not wearing a mask
I wear pants you know...
Punxsutawney Phil came out wearing a mask
6 more months of Covid
Wearing a mask below your nose...
is like wearing a condom with the tip cut off.
I have found a solution my glasses fogging up from wearing a mask
I wear a monocle, they only fog up half as much.
Wearing a mask at work
So I was at work, and cleaning off my desk, writing a few notes for the next shift. That’s when I saw it. One small hair on my desk. So instinctively I put my head closer, and tried to blow it away. That’s when it hit me.
If you see somebody wearing a mask pulled down below their nose, don’t worry...
Those people are all mouth-breathers anyway
Do you find it uncomfortable wearing a mask?
Well guess what, coffin would be worse
I thought that people getting mad over wearing a mask was not real, but today it happened to me as well. He told me Im an idiot for wearing a mask during a situation like this..
Like dude wtf, you're a dentist, aren't you like a doctor or something?
What does wearing a mask and a condom have in common?
It always feels better not wearing one!
My uncle got an award for not wearing a mask.
The Darwin Award.
A man walks into a Starbucks and sees the barista wearing a mask
“Is that a surgical mask?” He asks.
“No,” she responds, “it’s a coughy filter.”
Your mother is proud of you for wearing a mask
But she is also disappointed because look how nice you would have looked everyday if you became a surgeon.
People need to calm down about Walmart making wearing a mask mandatory.
You can still wear your pajamas.
Man walks around with a dead fish in his pocket instead of wearing a mask
In thier community almost all of them caught the virus and this guy never did. The community head was curious and invited him to learn his secret and to talk to him as the smell was harassing this community. Man came to the head's with the dead fish in pocket.
Man: I will talk to you only...
Who sits behind a desk in a bank, wearing a mask?
The Loan Arranger.
Attractive people of reddit, how has your life changed since wearing a mask?
oh, sorry... forgot where I was.
I was told that wearing a mask and gloves would be enough during the corona virus pandemic
but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required
While living alone and always wearing a mask in public, I grew a mustache without anyone knowing.
It’s my secret ‘stache.
COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman
Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
I went into my bank yesterday. I was the only one not wearing a mask.
They thought I was robbing the place!
A robber walks into a sperm bank wearing a mask and carrying a gun...
... he walks up to the counter and points the gun at the lady and shouts "open up that safe!! Now!!".
The lady says "sir, we're a sperm bank, we don't have any money on the premises".
The robber screams at her "i don't care! Take everything out of the safe and put it on the counter"...
I came up with this in math class
This guy goes to interview for a job. He’s really nervous about it, because this job is a super big opportunity for him. He goes in, and the interviewer introduces herself, saying “Hi, my name is Karen”. They immediately start talking about the job, and the guy is answering all of Karen’s questions ...
A cowboy walks into a bank wearing only his hat and his gun..
and a security guard taps him on the shoulder and says “excuse me sir, you’re not wearing a mask and have to leave”
Why did the Capitol police decide to use teargas?
They knew nobody was wearing a mask!
masks.
Have you noticed that a man with a beard wearing a mask looks a lot like a female 1970s underwear model?
Do we even need Halloween anymore?
I’ve been wearing a mask and eating candy for 14 months...
Why God? Why?
One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...
A man is shopping without a mask on....
Man: *looks at store items without wearing a mask*
Shop Keeper: Hey sir, you can't shop hear without a mask on.
Man: Nah I have a Medical condition that makes it hard for me to breathe.
Shop Keeper: Oh, what condition?
Man: Covid-19
A group of anti-maskers looked at me disgustingly
I don't know if it was because I was wearing a mask or nothing but a mask.
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