UPJOKE

Water Into Wine Jokes

And Jesus says to his followers, ¨I will turn this water into wine.¨

And the guy says, ¨Sir, this is a rehab center.¨

Step 1: Walk on water. Step 2: Turn water into wine.

Step 3: Prophet

Hey Jesus stop turning the water into wine...

I'm trying to take a shower

Jesus Christ turned water into wine and got worshiped by millions.

I turned weed into cookies and now I have to wash dishes at an Olive Garden to pay rent.

While Jesus can turn water into wine...

...the scientist can pour root beer into a square cup, resulting in just beer.

Jesus turns water into wine, everyone admires him and talks about it for 2000 years..

I turn water into sprite at Chipotle, and everyone calls it stealing.

When Jesus turns water into wine he gets a book but when I turn

Water into coke at Panera Bread I get yelled at

Not quite the same as turning water into wine but . . .

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home-bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gasoline station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only ...

Jesus: I can turn water into wine. Professor X: That's a neat party trick and all but it surely can't be useful in batt-

Guards: *Fall down dead*.
Jesus: *blows on his index finger as if it were a gun barrel* People are made of 90% water

A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens where greeted by the pope

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Univers visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and currently we await his return to us.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, alwa...

Drinking is a complicated thing.

Jesus's first ever miracle on the earth was turning water into wine. What an amazing miracle. But then he immediately died from getting hammered.

On this, St. Patrick's day, how do we know beer is the holiest drink?

God may have changed water into wine, but he named his people He-brews

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A devout Christian, Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar

The barternder approaches them as they get seated at the table.

The Christian guy: Jesus turned water into wine. It was the first miracle he performed. So I will go with some wine today.

The Jewish guy: Arak, the licorice flavored spirit is highly preffered in Isreal. It makes me feel ...

Jesus and his disciples walk into a bar

Bartender: so, what to you want?

Peter: just a glass of water please

Bartender: *slides him a glass of water* oh so you’re driving?

Peter: no, but watch this. Jesus!

Jesus: *turns water into wine right in front of Bartenders eyes*

Bartender: you’re the Son of God! ...

One Sunday morning

there was a girl named Sarah sitting in Sunday school when she fell asleep. The teacher called on Sarah and asked "who in the Bible turned water into wine?" The boy next to Sarah poked her with a pencil and she woke up and shouted "Jesus!" "Very good. Now can you tell me who created the world?" Sara...

The bible purposely leaves out the decade of Jesus' life in his 20s because he was clearly a ladies man...

I mean, he can turn water into wine, and was well hung. What do you expect!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water.

He then promptly turns the water into wine.

The barman says, "Oi! What do you think you're doing?"

Jesus replies, "I'm not paying your fucking prices!"

The teacher was quizzing the bible students...

and she asked "Who parted the Red Sea?"
Just then, rotten little Johnny poked Suzy with a pin, causing her to exclaim "Holy Moses!"
The teacher said "Very good, Suzy!"
Then the teacher asked "Who turned water into wine?"
Johnny pokes Suzy with the pin again, who hollers "...

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