UPJOKE
dog walking

My friend was walking the dog...

... and someone approaches trying to make conversation.

— What a beautiful dog! What breed is it?

— It's a German shepherd.

— Gorgeous, does it have a name?

— The Lord.

— The Lord? Why would you name it like that?!

— Because The Lord is my shepherd.

<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was strolling through my local graveyard walking the dog...

When I noticed a man crouched behind a gravestone.

"Morning." I said, tipping my hat to him.

"Nope," he replied "just taking a shit."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Walking the dog

I hate it when I'm walking around the
park and a dog shits and people just
walk off and leave it. I'm like, "Excuse me, are you not going to pick that up?"

They reply with things like, "No, fuck off,
it's your dog."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian funeral

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man wal...

I was walking the dog through the village cemetery earlier today...

...this nosey old woman heading the other way says "Mourning?" as we approached one another.

"No..." I answered curtly. "...I'm just walking my dog."

Honestly- I wish people would learn to mind their own business.

While walking the dog tonight I heard new ideas and perspectives coming from the forest...

Then I realized it was enlightening bugs.

Walking the Dog... Who says dads can't think on their feet? And the innocence of little kids ...

A little girl asked her Mom,
"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom replies,
"No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says,
"Dad, may I take Bel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Walking the dog

A man is walking his dog, a Rottweiler, through the forest on a hot summer’s day when he comes to a clearing. In the clearing there’s a natural pond so he sits by the water, just enjoying the view and the peace, his dog lying by his side. He hears a noise and turns round to see another dog, a Golden...

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