UPJOKE

What time do golfers wake up to go golfing?

Foooooour

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to

Unless you're in prison

Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678

Edit: Holy moly! Wake up to a shiny gold. Thank you kind stranger.

Edit2: I can make a whole wordlist with all the password in here šŸ˜.

Every morning I wake up to find my bed slightly more broken.

Turns out I'm a heavy sleeper.

I thought women love when they wake up to the breakfast in the bed...

I'll never do it anymore. Instead of "That is so kind, thank you," she was all just screaming who I am and how I got into her house.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Itā€™s always nice to wake up to a blowjob in the morning

Unless you are in prison

[Fatherā€™s day] Itā€™s great to wake up to the laughter of infants...

...Except if itā€™s the dead of night and you donā€™t have children

Every day we wake up to a guy in the garden singing ...

ā€œIf I were a rich man
Yubby Dibby Dibby Dibby Dibby Dibby Dibby Dum
All day long Iā€™d Biddy Biddy Bum
If I were a wealthy man.ā€

I tell my wife itā€™s the morning Jew.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A husband and wife wake up to go hunting..

A husband and wife wake up one Saturday morning to go hunting. However, it's raining and the wife doesn't want to go sit in the rain and exclaims "I don't want to go hunting!"

The husband turns and says, " Well you're either going, or I get to fuck you in the ass or you're sucking my dick! No...

What's the scariest thing to wake up to in the morning?

Another day.

I need a funny punchline...

My bf is going on a trip and I thought it'd be fun to give him a joke and tell the punchline when he gets home. Only thing is we were on a time crunch and I just said the first thing that came to mind which was:

What do you call a sheep with 3 legs?

I have absolutely no idea so if anyo...

A woman hits up a guy in a bar

They go to her apartment and make out. Then out of nowhere, the guy starts kissing her neck, softly at first, and then it bursts into a wild ride of biting and sucking, driving her into depths of pleasure she has never had. The guy seems to be pretty experienced, choking her and then stroking her ne...

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