Hey, I like dark humour, I can't help myself. Last week I saw a video of a kid getting hit by a car and just BURST out laughing...

The police officers didn't seem impressed but I just told them, "you had to be there".

What do you call a video of a duck?

A ducktape

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

I was having trouble driving when I found a video of guy with no arms who was drifting around in a car like it was nothing. It really moved me and I decided if he can do it, so can I.

And I did do it! But there's still a part of me that misses my arms though.

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What do you call a video of two toads having sex?

Frogspawn.

What do you call a video of someone's feet?

Footage

China recently tried to gain favor with the rest of the world by releasing a video of all their native bears, standing in a big circle, to show their repopulation and conservation efforts. Some people thought it was great.

I think it was just panda ring.

A famous serial killer made a music video of all of his killings but the drum track was lost and unable to be duplicated.

I can’t believe he killed all of those people without any re-percussion.

Did you hear about the video of the terrorist attack?

It blew up

How did that video of R. Kelly get out?

It leaked.

I just saw a video of someone crushing a 6 pack of Coke in a hydraulic press. All that wasted cola made me so sad.

It was soda-pressing

Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?

It’s super high Koala-tea

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I recently saw a video of a girl sitting on various fruit

To me, that's fucking bananas

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If you pay money to scammers who email you to say they have video of you masturbating to porn, it will be for one of two reasons:

Either they saw you coming, or they saw you coming.

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called "Cute"

but when I do it it's a "heinous act" and my dog gets taken away?

Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career.

At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it.

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I overlayed some dubstep to my favorite video of a clumsy fisherman

I synced them up to when they drop the bass.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

I spent my Google Rewards on a video of Caitlyn Jenner

It was definitely worth the transaction

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Just filmed a video of the Mrs wanking me off with her toes.

Lovely bit of footage.

I took a video of my symptoms that suggested a bacterial infection

it turned out to be viral.

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What's the hardest part about watching a video of somebody being beheaded?

My dick.

The Trump administration is criticizing the media for releasing a video of the president hanging himself.

It was, of course, fake noose.

A video of a groundbreaking bowler goes viral

He still had to pay to fix the bowling lane though

A Montage Video of My Life

Except every time I disappoint someone, it gets faster [0:08]

I was going to record a video of me playing the violin but...

I didn't want to fiddle with the camera

News: Video of black Baltimore mother beating her rioting son goes viral.

She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application.

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Spying on the Wife

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted a video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less th...

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Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good ......

Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good wank, as i discovered that all I could get was a dark video of a fat naked man sitting on his sofa with his cock in his hand.....

...turns out I had forgotten to turn the TV on.

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My wife told me I had a small penis, so I said it was big enough to hurt her.

"There isn't a woman in the world that would be hurt by that thing." She said.

I then showed her a video of me fucking her sister.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi.

So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies an...

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I was watching TV last night

And an advertisement came on with the sweet sound of Sarah McLachlan singing her hit ballad “Angel” and a video of little African children COVERED in flies. A 1-800 number popped up on the screen and said, “for just 22 cents a day...” I had heard enough! I picked up the phone to call, I just had to ...

Video

Did a video of my hubby playing the piano with his toes... Great footage...

LPT: Forgot the name of a song but know the tune?

Just upload a video of you humming it onto YouTube and you'll immediately get a copyright claim stating the name of the song!

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If that Presidential piss tape ever gets released -

It will be the most streaming leaked video of all time!

It dawned on me in the shower that my ex gf must be related to hurricane Dorian. You've been waiting for them to come but they just keep gyrating until they exhaust themselves.

The worst though is when you see the video of them ravaging and gushing all over their previous fling, leaving you feeling completely inadequate and devastated.

A Blonde and her boyfriend are watching the 9pm news

A Blonde and her boyfriend are watching the 9pm news, the anchor is showing a video of a girl threatening to jump off a cliff. The guy turns to the Blonde and says "I bet you $500 she jumps" "you're on" the Blonde replies.

2 minutes later the girl jumps and dies.

As she is pulling mo...

A request...

So I found out this week that my mom has Leukemia, and is going into the hospital either today or pretty soon there after to start chemo and then hopefully get a bone marrow transplant. I've decided to send her a video of me telling a joke a day to help keep her spirits up, but I know my library of...

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[Long] Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit their family's ranch.

In order to stay out of bankruptcy, they need to buy a bull to replace one who recently died. So the brunette goes online and finds a bull for sale in the city stockyards, about three hours away. The price of the bull is listed as $5,000.

Sadly, their inheritance wasn't much beyond the ranch,...

What’s the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

Trump doesn’t have a video of a garbanzo beaning on his face

The Ant and the Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no f...

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A priest wanted to test the sanity of his monks.

He tied to his 4 monk's dicks a rope connected to a bell.
He showed all of them a picture of a woman in a bikini.
Ding!
The priest slapped the first monk and said:"You are no saint! Get out of here!"
And the first monk left.
Next he showed all of them a picture of a fully naked woman....

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