What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Recycle them to make a tire and call it a Goodyear.

What’s the difference between 1,000 used condoms and a tyre?

One is a Goodyear and one is a great year.

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My friend asked why I never used condoms

I said, "My pull out game is superb and condoms are expensive. You gotta keep a tight budget when you have 14 kids."

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People that have sex in public, please don't leave your used condoms on the ground.

Leave them at eye level so I can truly appreciate them.

What do you call sperm in a used condom?

Life in a nutshell

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“If you woke up and found a used condom in your ass would you tell anyone?”

“No”


“Want to go camping?”

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As the vet removed the used condom from my dog's throat, I looked at her.

"This is awkward," I told her.

"Yes," she said. "But...dogs do stick their heads into bins before, it's not unheard of."

"That's right," I said. "But they don't often give blowjobs."

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Did you know there's a company in Ohio that recycles used condoms?

They shake the fuck out of them.

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Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used Condom hanging off your dick...

Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.

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I've never used condoms when screwing in the living room

We always use the pull out couch

I found a used condom in my son's bed.

Clearly my wife and I forgot to dispose of it.

Mother superior called an urgent meeting of all the 100 nuns in her convent

Mother Superior : Today I found a man's underwear behind the bush ..

99 nuns : Oh Jesus !!

One nun : teeheehee

Mother : Also I found a used condom

99 nuns : Oh Jesus!!

One nun : teeheehee..

Mother : ... And it was broken ...

One nun : Oh Jesus!!!
...

At a convent, all nuns assemble for the morning sermon

The mother superior speaks up: "Last night, a man has been on our lands."

All nuns: "Ooooh!", except one nun: "Hehehe!"

MS: "The man entered one sister's chamber!"

All nuns: "Ooooh!", except one nun: "Hehehe!"

MS: "The man stayed in the chamber for one hour!"

All n...

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The other day

An Englishman, American and Irishman were having a drink at the bar. The Englishman says to the others "The other day, I went into my daughters room and found a cigarette! I didn't even know that she smoked!".


The American chuckles "That's nothing! The other day I went into my daught...

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A brash American tourist got seated next to a Chinese man in a plane.

Mid flight, the Chinese man ordered for a marmalade sandwich. The American could not contain his curiosity so he struck up a conversation with his seatmate.

"You enjoyin' that sandwich, pal?" he asked

"Yes" politely answered the Chinese man after he took a bite and made a few chews....

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Little Johnny

A traveling salesman rings the doorbell, and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers. He's holding a beer, smoking a fat cigar, and kicks a used condom away from the doorway.

The salesman says, "Young man, is your mother home?"

Little Johnny takes a swig of beer and says, "What the fuck do y...

Recycling

People say they are into recycling. You should see their face when you rince out a used condom.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde meet for coffee to talk about issues they are having with their daughters.

The brunette says “I was cleaning my daughters room the other day, and I found a bottle of alcohol under her bed. I didn’t even know she drank!”

The redhead says, “well when I was cleaning my daughters room the other day, I found a pack of cigarettes under her bed. I didn’t even know she smok...

Two eight year old boys are chatting...

Boy 1: 'I found a used condom on our patio this morning.'
Boy 2: 'What's a patio?'

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There was a woman who went out of town for the weekend. When she came back, she notified two condoms were missing.

She asked her boyfriend about it, and he said he used them to masturbate.

“Really?” The girlfriend asked. “You use condoms to masturbate?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Lots of guys do it.”

The next day at work she was eating lunch with a male coworker.

“Can I ask you something...

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It's a blond joke

A blond, brunette, and a red head decide to see what their daughters carry in their purses.

The brunette opens up her daughter's purse and finds a pack of cigarettes and says OMG my daughter smokes I'm so ashamed.

The red head opens her daughter's purse and finds a crushed beer can an...

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French Bubble Gum !

An American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.

A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."

The ...

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