UPJOKE

Used Condom Jokes

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

Ones a Goodyear. The other is a great year.

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tyre and call it a good year.

Mother Superior gathers all 100 nuns in the chapel.

"I'm afraid we have some bad news," the Mother Superior says. "It appears one of you has been sneaking out and sinning behind the chapel walls."

99 nuns gasp, 1 nun giggles.

"We know this because we found a used condom just outside the gates."

99 nuns gasp, 1 nun giggles.
...

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“If you woke up and found a used condom in your ass would you tell anyone?”

“No”


“Want to go camping?”

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Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used Condom hanging off your dick...

Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.

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[Translated] a maid sees a used condom floating in the commode and frantically calls the madam .

When the madam arrives,she points the condom and asks " What's this ?"

Madam who was clearly annoyed asks " Don't they have sex in your Village? "

Maid " we do but not so much that skin falls off'

What do you call sperm in a used condom?

Life in a nutshell

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My friend asked why I never used condoms

I said, "My pull out game is superb and condoms are expensive. You gotta keep a tight budget when you have 14 kids."

A man recycled 365 used Condoms.

Pirelli have turned into a Tyre and called it a "Goodyear"

I found a used condom in my son's bed.

Clearly my wife and I forgot to dispose of it.

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As the vet removed the used condom from my dog's throat, I looked at her.

"This is awkward," I told her.

"Yes," she said. "But...dogs do stick their heads into bins before, it's not unheard of."

"That's right," I said. "But they don't often give blowjobs."

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I've never used condoms when screwing in the living room

We always use the pull out couch

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People that have sex in public, please don't leave your used condoms on the ground.

Leave them at eye level so I can truly appreciate them.

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