UPJOKE

Ugly Wife Jokes

An old ugly wife is looking in the mirror...

Listing all the things wrong with her old flabby hairy body while her husband lays on the bed watching an ocean documentary on TV.

"I'm disgusting, aren't I?"

He doesn't respond.

"Hey! Answer me! I look like a whale, don't I!?"

He responds, "No! Absolutely not, you don't...

Three men die and go to heaven.

God tells the men that if they do not step on a duck, he will give them a hot wife. The first man goes and steps on a duck and is taken to his ugly wife.
The second man does the same and is also taken to an ugly wife.
The third man was determined not to do anything so he didn't move. Eventua...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a Pharmacy and asks for cyanide

Pharmacist : What do you need it for?


Man : I need to kill my wife.


Pharmacist : Sorry sir, I can't give you cyanide.


Man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo of his ugly wife.


Pharmacist blushes and replies : I am sorry sir , I d...

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