UPJOKE

U Got Jokes

[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock...

Whoops, wrong sub.

Gubble-u Gubble-u Gubble-u Got com ...

... a great website for trainee ventriloquists.

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hhhh u got an outstanding wife

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jamaican Sandals

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, ‘You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop..’

So t...

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Getting success is like getting pregnent

Everybody congrats u but no body knows how many time u got fucked up :’)

Husband sent a text to wife at night

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She ...

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the lioness was sitting next to her husband lion

when out of nowhere the hayena came and starts throwing insults at the lion :
"you son of a bitch you motherfucker u are one weak ass king you are so stupid... etc".
the lion doesn't move an inch and keeps his cool but the lioness is so furious :
"are you not gonna do anything " .
but th...

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Giving the wife flowers

Man gives his wife some roses.. later that night his wife gets naked and open her legs .. husband say' " what's that for? " she says for the rose's he says fuck me aint u got a vase !!

Genie: U have 3 wishes

Me: I wanna be an Idiot


Genie: U got 3 wishes left

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