UPJOKE

Two Bits Jokes

Doctor: I have two bits of bad news for you..

- What are they?
- First, your tests show that you are suffering from Alzheimers
- Ouch! What's the other?
- The tests also show that you've got prostate cancer.
- Well at least I don't have Alzheimers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can swallow two bits of string...

And they will come out tied together.

I shit you knot!

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream

He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."

Putin asks, "Why blue?"

Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."

My girlfriend said, "If you don't quit drinking, I'll leave you."

I never expect to hear two bits of good news in one day.

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