UPJOKE
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Tw Jokes

(TW! INCOMING DAD JOKE) I’m so glad we have sidewalks…

They keep people off the streets

(TW! Incoming Dad joke!) My wife sent me to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite…

When I got home, I realized I picked 7UP.

I used to think two was the only word that started with TW...

but then I checked twice, and sure enough it does too.

Why did so many Republicans vote for Joe Biden this year? (TW: Political, bad taste)

If you’re red, and you fail to take care of your voters during a respiratory virus pandemic...they turn blue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(TW: a truly dirty joke) How many calories are consumed when eating pussy?

Depends which direction she wipes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwarf with a speech impediment wants to buy a horse

A dwarf walks into a feed store and starts a conversation with the owner, it comes up that he’s looking to buy a horse. The owner tells him about his friend who owns a horse ranch just outside of town. The owner calls up his friend and says "I've sent a dwarf with a speech impediment to see you. He ...

A guy walks into a bar, pulls up a seat, and orders his favorite drink.

In the bar there's a group of gorgeous blond ladies who are having a bit of a celebration. "TWENTY-SIX DAYS! TWENTY-SIX DAYS!" they shout as they're knocking back drink after drink.

This goes on for some time. The ladies are getting more and more intoxicated, "TW..TWENNNTTTY-SIX DAYYYYS.... &...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW - Leprechaun at a urinal

So this guy Jimmy is on a road trip home from college when he stops at a rest stop to relieve himself. As he enters the bathroom he notices a leprechaun at the urinals. He walks up to the urinal next to it and starts doing his business, but while doing so cant help but notice that this leprechaun ha...

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