UPJOKE

Turning 50 Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm turning 50 tomorrow and my wife suggested I get myself one of those high performance penis enlargers, so I did...

She's 22 and her name is Candy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the best part about turning 50?

My mom is so old that she can’t make it down the stairs to catch me jerking off.

A Group of Guys Were All Turning 30...

A group of guys were all turning 30, so they decided to go somewhere and celebrate. After some discussion, they finally settled on TJ's Tavern over in Summersville, because the prices were good and it stayed open late.

Ten years later, they were all turning 40, and they thought it might be fu...

A middle-aged man and woman are getting ready to go out for the evening...

The man is naked, standing in front of his bedroom mirror.

“Honey, I can’t believe I’m turning 50 in just a few months. Look at how old I’ve gotten! My belly is sticking out, I have wrinkles and liver spots all over, and I’m losing my hair. I feel so bad about myself”

Then he turns to ...

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